- Four -
"Thank you for shopping at Blockbuster..."
Startled, Justin's voice died out as he glared at the last remaining customer he was dealing with for the night before he locked up and headed home.
Frowning, his blues flitted over to the locked front doors of the DVD rental store. His orbs widened behind his spectacles when he saw Rachel banging on the door repeatedly, loudly.
"I'm so sorry. Let me show you out." He spoke kindly to the elderly woman before he got up from his seat and escorted her out with her DVD rental. The moment he opened the front door and the last remaining customer was out of sight, Rachel barged in, pushing Justin further into the store as well.
"What the hell Rach?!" He belted.
"Trace knows." Rachel blurted out and Justin frowned at her, feeling his heart skip a beat.
"Trace knows..." He made hand gestures urging her to elaborate. "Trace knows what?"
Sighing, she moved away from him and hoisted herself up on the counter to take a seat.
"Get down Rach. I don't want your butt up there." Justin chuckled but she simply rolled her eyes.
"He knows something's going on with you that you're not telling Justin. Yesterday, after you left when we were done setting up for my party later tonight, Trace and the guys started asking me all these questions."
"Yeah, so? They always do." Justin dismissed her, moving around to lock up so he could leave and get home before he went over to Kenisha's.
"They cornered me J." Rachel said softly.
Stopping mid-step, Justin flipped around to glare at her, horror flashing in his eyes. "No, no you didn't Rach. Please tell me you didn't." Justin felt panic and dread setting in. He wanted to strangle her. He wanted to strangle his cousin because if she told their friends his secret, there was no way he was ever going to let Kenisha anywhere near her or his friends ever again.
It was bad enough that he couldn't get the kiss he and Kenisha shared out of his head to save his life. This was a disaster.
"No but, but I might have admitted that I felt whatever it was you were hiding, it was your duty to tell them when you were ready?" Rachel shrugged innocently wincing when Justin growled angrily in return.
"Goddamn it Rachel!" He screamed at the top of his lungs, frightening them both by the power of his voice. "I trusted you with this!"
"I know, and I'm sorry, but they don't know Justin!" She defended, jumping down from her sitting position to stand.
"That's not the point Rach! Do you know what that could do to me!? They know I'm keeping shit from them. Already Trace was on my case the night I brought Kenisha to hang with us at the bowling alley. You justified it for them. You gave them a reason to make my life a living hell until I cave and they get every last bit of detail out of me. I don't want them to know I'm a virgin! Shit. I can't deal with this, I'm not ready yet." Justin panicked.
Passing his hands through his short curls, Justin sighed heavily, feeling like he was trapped between two brick walls. There was no way out or around this. The guys would eventually get the truth out of him. Then what? How would they look at him then? Would they forgive him for lying to them the entire time they were friends? Would they understand? No, no they'd never understand. They'd make his life a living hell. They'd maybe disown him.
"I'm so screwed." Justin whined helplessly.
"No, no J you're not. Just make something up. Lie and make them believe that the lie is what you've been keeping from them. They never have to know. Not unless you want them to."
"Rach your party is tonight! When I leave here, I'm going to head home, get ready and then pick up Kenisha so we can go to your place for your party! Everyone's going to be at your party!" Justin snapped. "You know what? I'm not going." He decided but Rachel protested.
"What? You have to come Justin it's my birthday party." She snapped.
"Rach your birthday is tomorrow." Justin countered, glowering at her.
"Exactly dweeb! The party rolls into my birthday. Hello! You have to come. You can't skip out on me Jus. Please." She begged, pouting and that was all it took to make Justin cave because he really did love his cousin even if she was a pain most of the time.
"Ugh! Fine! But I have a sinking feeling tonight isn't going to play out very well..."
"Oh stop being a drama king. I gave you a heads up and the guys would probably be too preoccupied getting wasted to care to bug you." Rachel supplied.
"That's what I'm afraid of." Justin muttered softly. "Alcohol isn't a good mix with any of us, yet we indulge in it. You'd think we'd learn our lesson by now." He chuckled pathetically.
"Try not to worry so much. I'll see you and Kenisha later. I need to get back home to finish setting up."
"Ok Rach bye." Justin voiced weakly, escorting his cousin out of the store so he could close up for the night and head home.
He didn't care about what Rachel said.
If it was up to their friends, Justin knew for a fact that his secret wasn't going to be a secret anymore by the end of the night.
The only question was could he handle the reactions? Could he handle Kenisha's?
"I hate being me sometimes..." Justin whined when he was alone again, not understanding how people could possibly think that it was a good thing to be a virgin. There had to be a cut off age...at like eighteen years or something. But he was well into his mid-twenties.
So, there really was no way to look at it except that he was undoubtedly a freak of nature.
*****
Later
At Rachel's
Justin and Kenisha arrived at Rachel's party a few hours earlier and so far everything was going good.
Kip, Trevor, Mitch and Trace were there along with a few of Rachel's other close friends.
It wasn't a big party by any means. It was more of a get-together with close friends and family.
It was fun.
Everyone was having a good time and after being tense for at least the first hour after they arrived, Justin was finally enjoying himself.
He and Kenisha danced, they played a few of the games Rachel and the guys set up and they ate.
It was your regular party.
They even had keg stands which Mitch, Trevor and Kip partook in.
The night was going amazingly well and Justin finally realized that maybe Rachel was right.
Maybe their friends were too busy enjoying themselves to care about his secret which was a good thing for him.
Or so he thought...
"This is amazing Justin! Thanks so much for bringing me!" Kenisha spoke to Justin over the blaring music.
Looking down at her he smiled brightly as they danced in the middle of Rachel's living room which she set up as the dance floor.
"Well Rachel did invite you. She likes you so, I'm happy you came." Justin replied and Kenisha nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him closer.
"Cornelia wanted to come but I told her no because like I said, she can be a handful and I didn't want her to be a distraction." Kenisha stated.
Swallowing hard, Justin felt his heartbeat speed up when Kenisha rested her body flush against his. He was already trying not to stare at her long smooth legs exposed in the short jeans skirt she wore plus the cleavage she was exposing in her low-cut black top.
Staring at her did things to him but touching her was literally painful for him.
Fluttering his eyes, he tried to focus as his hands gripped her waist to push her away from him slightly in the most subtle manner.
"Uh, friends can uh, be a handful. My friends are the same." Justin smiled sheepishly, his blues connecting to Kenisha's browns through his spectacles.
"Tell me about it." Kenisha giggled, the both of them pausing when the DJ Rachel hired switched the track to a techno beat. "Do you want to grab something to drink?" Kenisha asked and Justin nodded quickly, anything to get him away from this sick torture he was in of relishing in her sent and body heat.
"Sure...come on." Gripping her hand, he led them away from the dancing area and towards the large table Rachel set up with endless drinks and punch.
When they got to the drinks, Justin immediately regretted their decision because Mitch, Kip, Trevor and Trace where presently grabbing beers.
Justin's eyes immediately darted around for Rachel until he spotted her on the other side of the room chatting and flirting with some guy he didn't know.
Groaning, Justin released his hold on Kenisha's hand to grab a cup so he could pour them some punch but Mitch spotted him and stopped him.
"I wouldn't drink the punch if I were you Tech. Not unless you want to get shit-faced." Mitch chuckled while sipping on his beer.
Eyeing his friend and then the bowl of punch, Justin sighed while scratching his red t-shirt clad chest. "Why not?"
"Because Kip spiked it." Trevor spoke up before all four guys erupted in laughter.
"Man, I told him not to." Trace added in, still chuckling and Justin frowned.
"Real mature guys." Justin stated not amused before Kenisha walked up to his side.
"Kenisha! Wow, look at you. Hi there." Mitch grinned for her and she smiled back.
"Hey Mitch." She giggled. "Hey guys." She greeted the rest and everyone told her ‘hi' in return.
"So, I'm still having a hard time understanding how Justin snagged a hot little number like you." Mitch quipped, taking a large swig of his beer before placing the bottle down on the table.
Clenching his fists, Justin inhaled deeply, trying to calm his nerves.
"Never judge a book by its cover Mitch." Kenisha wisecracked causing the other guys to jack Mitch in the shoulder, teasing him.
"Huh..." Mitch huffed, casting his vision to Justin who was busy scanning the many alcoholic beverages on the table.
"So how'd you do it Justin? How'd you make her your girl? You never did tell us." Mitch questioned and silence fell over the group when Justin's head snapped up to look at them.
"What?" Justin asked in horror. Kenisha wasn't his girl. Well, not yet...not officially. He wanted her to be but... "I...I uh..." Removing his spectacles, Justin rubbed the lenses with the hem of his shirt before he slipped them back on. Using his index finger, he fixed his glasses on his nose before exhaling heavily.
"Well?" Kip probed when Justin didn't say anything else.
"He asked me." Kenisha quickly spoke up. "He asked me to be his girl and I said yes because I used to come to the DVD store often and I always liked him and we were friends first. So, when he finally asked I said yes." She quickly explained and everyone including Justin glared at her in shock.
"Wow...well, looks like Justin here's got game after all." Mitch concluded, nodding his head in acceptance.
Smiling, Kenisha wrapped her arm around Justin's waist, resting against him and all he could do was look down at her completely dumbfounded. What just happened? Ok, he got that she did it to get the pressure off of him but what the heck? Why was his heart thudding so hard in his chest? Why...why was it becoming so difficult to breathe?
"You know, that's great and all and congratulations to you guys, but, there's something that's still a little off to me." Trace voiced, causing everyone to look at him with intrigue.
"What?" Trevor inquired.
"Rachel!" Trace hollered, grabbing her attention from across the room. "Come over here!" He yelled and Rachel waved back, quickly excusing herself from the guy she was talking to, to jog over.
"What's up guys? Hey Kenisha, having fun?" Rachel asked and Kenisha smiled politely for her.
"Yes, thanks again for inviting me." Kenisha replied softly.
"Sure, no problem." Rachel smiled. "So, what's up Trace?" She asked, glaring at Trace in curiosity.
"Justin's what's up." Trace simply replied and Justin's orbs widened in shock. "What is it about him that feels so off? You told us he wasn't telling us something right? So, we're all here now. Why don't you tell us what that something is Justin? You're with Kenisha now right? It's only fair that she knows what's going on with you too...unless she knows already." Trace challenged, noting how terror flashed in his friend's blues.
"I don't know what you're..." But Justin was interrupted by Trevor.
"Aw, give him a break Trace. He may be our friend but he doesn't have to tell us everything!" Trevor laughed but Trace wasn't having it.
He and Justin grew up together. They never kept secrets from each other. This didn't make any sense. And it hurt that Justin couldn't trust them with whatever it was that was going on with him. Since when were they anything less than brothers who shared practically everything with each other?
"No, no Rachel said something was going on with you Justin. So what is it? Let's hear it. We're your friends. I would like to think that you can trust us to tell us if something's wrong." Trace demanded.
Trace was worried also. He knew for some time that Justin was acting a bit weird but it seemed like it was progressing now and Trace had to wonder if Kenisha was part of the problem or maybe she was the solution. He didn't know. But he wanted to know.
"Trace, stop it." Rachel scolded. "Leave Justin alone. You can't force him to tell you anything."
"No, I guess not." Trace smirked. "If you ever feel like we deserve to know Justin, you know where to find us. We still got your back man." Trace plastered a fake smile, patting Justin on the shoulder before excusing himself to leave.
When he was gone, Justin sighed heavily feeling guilty when he knew that he shouldn't.
"Are you sure you're ok Justin?" Kip asked in genuine concern.
"I...I'm fine. I promise. Thanks though." Justin muttered and Kip nodded, turning to look at Mitch who was still glaring at Justin suspiciously.
"Well, no one wants a killjoy so how about a keg stand Justin? To get the fun swinging again." Mitch spoke up and Justin quickly shook his head in protest.
"Oh no..."
"Man that's a good idea!" Trevor urged. "Yeah Justin. You always do keg stands with us, come on. Now isn't any different."
"You all always force me to do it; that doesn't mean I like it." Justin defended, but they ignored him.
Before he knew it, Justin was being pulled away from Kenisha by his three friends and towards the large beer kegs on the other side of the room.
Oh this wasn't good. This wasn't good at all.
Justin managed to shoot Rachel a pleading look but there really was nothing she could do. When Mitch, Trevor and Kip's minds were made up, it was hard to convince them otherwise.
Kenisha, who didn't really know how to react, simply looked on in slight worry and amusement as she and Rachel watched when Mitch, Kip and Trevor hoisted Justin off the floor.
"Is this...a regular thing with them?" Kenisha whispered to Rachel as the people in the party gathered around the group of friends urging them on.
"Sadly, yeah. Justin's a good sport but most times, they usually talk him into things he wouldn't normally do." Rachel sighed, hoping that her cousin would be able to hold down his own tonight.
"Oh, so what's really going on with Justin and your friends? Is he really ok? I mean..."
"He's fine. They're just being guys is all. It's nothing to worry about." Rachel smiled warmly for Kenisha, hating that she had to lie to her but it was for the best.
"I hope so because as much as I like Justin, he does seem kind of tense almost all the time which really isn't normal for a regular person." Kenisha explained, frowning slightly at the chant that evolved, urging Justin to drink the beer as his friends held him upside down.
Laughing softly, Rachel turned to meet Kenisha's gaze and in the most sincere voice she could muster, she told Kenisha exactly what she needed to know. "Kenisha, Justin is not a regular person nor is he normal, but, that's what makes him who he is and I'm sure you'll realize that for yourself soon..."
*****
Hours Later
Hours had passed and it was safe to say that everyone at the party were successfully tipsy or drunk.
A party wasn't a party without getting intoxicated and one thing was certain, no one was going to let anybody stay sober and miss out on all the fun.
That would maybe explain why after a night of endless fun, Justin was presently sitting haphazardly on Rachel's couch with Kenisha at his side laughing up a storm at some ridiculous joke Mitch was telling.
It didn't take much to make any of them laugh since they were all under the influence.
Justin had one too many beers and even if Kenisha knew the punch was spiked, it still tasted too good to pass up. But, she wasn't drunk. She never drank to get drunk. She was a bit tipsy though, but very much aware of her surroundings.
The rest of the guys were at least on Justin's level or worse.
But it was ok, because the tension was over and they were all having genuine fun.
They sang happy birthday to Rachel and agreed that her living room was going to be their beds for the night since no one was in the right state of mind to drive home.
But that was perfectly fine because they were a family, and family came first.
There was only one problem in this perfect little setting.
Intoxication had a way of allowing buried feelings to bubble up to the surface causing people to say things they later regretted.
Now wasn't any different because in the midst of Mitch's joke, Trace decided that it was necessary to interrupt.
"I...I have a joke I'd like to tell." Trace slurred before taking a big gulp of his beer.
Everyone looked at him, urging him to continue...including Mitch who was thankful for the break.
"Well, let's hear it." Trevor coaxed as they all sat around on the couches.
"It's about this guy...you all know him, love him, adore him. Whatever. So, this guy, he had this group of friends right? Kind of like us. And he was supposed to be this great friend and brother who was open and honest with his friends because, that's what friends do. Only, one day his friends found out that he was keeping some huge secret from them, which by the looks of it could possibly fuck up the bonds and friendships that they shared. Now, I'm not saying the guy had to tell his secret, but the least he could have done was not lie about it you know? So that makes me think, what kind of friend was he in the first place? Was he even a real friend?" Trace spoke, his voice deep and horse.
Silence took over as everyone tried to make sense of Trace's little story under their highs. Where was the joke in what he said? There was no joke.
Justin was drunk, but he wasn't stupid. He knew where Trace was going with this. Why couldn't he just give it a rest?
"Am I the friend Trace?" Justin asked. "This is about me isn't it?"
"Justin..." Kenisha warned when she heard the slight edge in his tone.
"You're perceptive J. Yes it's about you." Trace countered and Justin groaned.
"Can't you give it a rest!? It's not that big of a deal." Justin snapped and everyone was at alert now.
Rachel was about to interject but Trace beat her to it, stunning them all.
"No Justin! I will not give it a rest. I will not give it a rest when I feel like I don't even know my own fuckin' friend anymore. You're like foreign to me now man. I feel like, like we're losing you and there's nothing I can do about it because you won't talk to us! You think that's fair? Huh?" Trace belted, shocking Justin.
After a long pause, Justin sighed before rooting off his spectacles and tossing them on the center table. Wiping his hands over his face, he breathed deeply, wishing that he was anywhere but here. "No..." Justin finally admitted. "It's not fair. But..."
"Then what is it Justin huh? I know everyone must think I'm a prick, that I'm a jerk and I should just leave you alone but you have to understand Justin I care. A real friend would not leave it alone if they think their friend needs help or someone to talk to." Trace explained and Justin knew he was right. But, he didn't want him to be.
"Look T, let's not do this now please." Justin begged, turning to glare at Kenisha who was studying them all intently. "Shit...not now Trace."
"Then when Justin!? You're not acting like yourself. The guys and I are worried about you. We try not to pry but this is getting out of hand. You're so damn edgy all of the time. You're nervous, unfocused and standoffish. What the fuck man!?" Trace yelled and that's when Mitch, Trevor and Kip decided to intervene.
"Ok Trace calm down. Relax. You had too much to drink man." Kip stated, pulling the beer out of Trace's hold.
"Yeah Trace just relax son." Mitch agreed. "Yes, we're worried about Justin but at least he has Rachel to talk to."
"Oh right, about that. Why does Rachel get the privilege and not us huh? Oh because she's a girl? That's what you said right?" Trace pried slowly enraging Justin.
"You sound like such a jealous bitch right now Trace! Would you stop!?" Rachel yelled back but Trace ignored her, his eyes trained on Justin who looked like he was about to explode.
"T shut up." Justin spoke calmly before casting his vision to the floor as his knees bounced up and down wildly.
He couldn't look at Kenisha now. He couldn't stand to see the expression that was maybe on her face right now.
"Shit Justin! You're acting like...like some freak man." Trace caved, and that was all it took to set Justin off. Trace had no idea what he just said or how his words dug deep because that's exactly the kind of battle Justin was having internally.
So, Justin snapped not caring anymore since his head was spinning and he desperately wanted the world to stop turning for a split second so he could get off.
"Fine Trace! Fine!" Justin screamed, jumping to his feet.
Rachel's eyes widened when she realized what Justin was going to do but she couldn't stop him because she wasn't quick enough.
"You want to know what my fuckin' problem is!?" Justin hissed angrily, stunning everyone into silence.
He heard Kenisha gasp in shock but he ignored her. He needed to do this. He, he couldn't keep it on his chest any longer.
"Yes Justin, please tell us." Trace challenged with a roll of his eyes.
"Ok you asshole...I'm a virgin!" Justin hollered with a raise of his hands. "There I said it! I'm a fuckin' virgin! Happy now? Your twenty-five year old male friend going on twenty-six is a fuckin' chastity case. Not by choice mind you. I'm just unlucky like that I guess. Because no girl wants a guy who's inexperienced. But yes, I'm an innocent, untouched little fuck who's been lying to all of you our entire friendship which makes everything I've ever said about myself and the opposite sex a lie as well. So I guess that makes me one big fat liar huh!? Huh!? Is that what you all wanted to hear? Does that make you happy now? That's my secret...right there out on the fuckin' table. So go ahead, laugh at me, make fun of me, kill whatever self-respect and confidence I have left. Go ahead. What are you waiting for!?" Justin ranted, pausing to catch his breath.
Heaving, his orbs flitted over the many faces in the room, all filled with shock and disbelief.
It was quiet...too quiet since no one knew what to do or say in reaction to his little outburst.
And suddenly, Justin felt like his entire world was crashing down around him.
Refusing to turn and even look at Kenisha now, he bit down on his bottom lip harshly, locking eyes with Rachel who held a solemn expression on her face.
"Oh god, I think I'm going to throw up." Justin wheezed before tripping over his feet as he rushed towards Rachel's bathroom.
Swinging the door open, he stormed inside before slamming the door shut behind him and locking it.
And still, no one moved or said a word.
Trace simply sat there, speechless and in utter shock as did Mitch, Kip and Trevor.
They couldn't fathom what Justin said. They didn't know how to react. That was the last thing they ever expected him to say but it was clear that it was a big factor with him, that it bothered him to some degree and all they could think about was how much harder they made this for him with their constant pressuring and teasing not knowing how their actions were really affecting him.
"Well shit, I did not see that coming." Mitch finally spoke up, shaking his head in disbelief as he passed his hands through his hair still in a daze as he tried to come down from his high.
"I'm so sorry...I...I wanted him to tell you his self but not like this." Rachel apologized, standing and looking in the direction Justin went.
"It's not your fault Rach. We...well maybe we don't understand yet, but we will." Kip assured her.
"I should...I should check on Justin." Kenisha finally spoke, causing everyone to glare at her.
Smiling softly, she excused herself and stood, ambling over to Rachel's bathroom with Rachel close behind.
"Kenisha..." Rachel began but Kenisha cut her off.
"I get it Rach. He's your cousin. It's, it's fine." Kenisha voiced before banging on the bathroom door. "Justin!?" Kenisha called out to him when she heard the water from the tap running.
"Just go away." Justin replied from behind the door and she sighed heavily. "You're only going to run away like the rest so just...spare me and leave now." He said in a muffled tone from behind the door.
"I'll leave you two alone." Rachel whispered before excusing herself to return to their group of friends.
"Justin Randall Timberlake. You better open up that door. I'm not leaving. I'm not running away, so don't push me away please." Kenisha begged. When she didn't get a reply, she groaned in frustration. "Justin, look...being...being a virgin isn't that big of a deal." She began. "I mean, ok, maybe it is kind of a big deal, but, everyone isn't the same you know? I'm not like everyone else. I'm me and I think that, that the fact that you are one, it's...well, it's sweet. I'm not going to judge you. I know you said that you're not one by choice but, aren't you happy that you don't have to live with regret of giving it up to someone who really didn't deserve such a gift in the first place? Gosh Justin, you're not a freak ok? You're not. I know you think that you are but you're not. You're what every good woman out there is looking for...a good guy. Everyone was inexperienced at some point but if you can find someone who's willing to teach you then you can learn just like the rest. I get that you're upset but, you don't have to be Justin. I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere. Sure, it's a major shock to me, but it makes perfect sense now. You make perfect sense to me now. I get you now. And that's ok because I'm still here. And, you know...if you'd let me, I'd be willing to...to...teach you." Kenisha breathed deeply, her palms flat on the surface of the door as she waited and listened for any movement on the other side.
A few seconds passed and she didn't hear any response on the other end.
Just when she was going to give up and call it quits at least for tonight, she heard a click and immediately took a step back.
About five seconds later, the door slowly eased open and a distraught Justin came into view.
He wasn't crying, but he certainly wasn't smiling either.
"Hey." Kenisha whispered softly, lifting her hand to caress the side of his face as he stood tall, looking down at her with big bright eyes.
"I'm sorry." Justin apologized wholeheartedly and she smiled in return.
"I know. It's ok." She assured, getting lost in his beautiful blues. He really should consider contacts. His eyes were gorgeous.
"Even if I'm a...you'd still want to be with me?" Justin asked slightly startled. He couldn't believe it. But, he heard every word she said and she really was still there...not running.
"Yes Justin. We'll get through this. You didn't do anything wrong. You need to realize that. And your friends will come around. Give them time." Kenisha voiced and Justin finally released a half-grin as his blues travelled over her smooth caramel brown face.
"You're amazing. Thank you." He said earnestly and Kenisha shook her head in understanding.
"Do you...do you want to talk about it?" She asked cautiously, not wanting to upset him in any way. This was a sensitive subject for him. She had to be cautious.
Nodding weakly in reply, Justin took a step back into the large, plush bathroom.
Smiling, Kenisha followed suit and entered the bathroom as well.
"Right, but first, let's get you cleaned up." She cooed, taking in his disheveled curls, clothes and damp skin. "No more alcohol for you." She giggled and he chuckled lightly in return.
Smiling, Justin shook his head as Kenisha moved around to grab a washcloth and wet it under the tap water.
"Ok," was the only reply she was met with as she slammed the door to the bathroom shut to give them some privacy, but it was more than enough to tell her that they were going to be fine and that all Justin needed was a little TLC to set him at ease.