Night One
Now you know it’s a damn shame when you build up a sorry excuse to keep coming to the same place over and over again, secretly knowing that you’re not here for the right reasons. That would describe me on point and the fact that I just strolled into the one nightclub I’ve been going to every Friday night without fail for the past seven months straight in the heart of Manhattan, New York.
It’s sad and quite embarrassing frankly because I have no intention of ‘clubbing’ as the party goers put it. I have one purpose and one purpose only. To deposit myself at the bar for the rest of the night, taking my fill however I can get it.
Hi, my name is Angela Lavern, I’m twenty-three years old, I’m single, an accountant and I’m an alcoholic.
Incase you were wondering, this is where you come in with some greeting along the lines of ‘hi Angela,’ knowing that you maybe feel sorry for me or pity me as you should. Well, it’s not so much the actual liquid substance that I’m addicted to. But I’m close, because the next best thing after the alcohol is the bartender who actually makes it his point of duty to intoxicate the club-goers to the point where they can’t identify their date from a pole.
I guess the cat’s out of the bag. I should just spit it out. Admitting you have a problem is the first step right? Ok, so let me try this for a spin. Like I said, I’m single which means, the most action I get, is checking out the hot tight asses of the opposite sex shaking and grinding on the dance floor for everything they’re worth as they scope out their next fuck conquest for the night.
But that’s hardly why I’m here. You see, out of all the decent attractive guys to the drop dead gorgeous hunks, there is one in particular that I can bet my last dollar I’ll see every Friday night without fail from ten pm to three am doing what he does best…bartending. He’s way past the scale in my book. He’s on a completely different level because as far as I’m concerned he’s what I like to call my poison. Others may know the saying as eye-candy, but with him, I’d say he’s toxic in every sense of the word.
This is why I come here every Friday night. Not only am I graced with his presence, but I actually get to talk with him, because surprisingly, he’s a very charismatic, down to earth, funny, intelligent guy. Now that’s a description that’s practically unbelievable but it’s true. That’s why I’m addicted and I always leave here drunk…off of him and not the alcohol, remember?
He usually cuts me off at a certain point, knowing that I have to drive home. He always says he’d never forgive himself if anything was to happen to me so it’s futile if I try to beg him for more past my limit of three drinks. I think it’s sweet that he cares and I try not to chock it up to the fact that he’s only worried about his guilty conscience where he’s helping the people he serve kill themselves faster.
He jokes about it too so he doesn’t quite take his work so seriously. He can still laugh and smile with his customers which is a must and a plus. No one likes a stingy bartender let me tell you. That’s when they get cursed at. Either way, I’m happy that my consistent visits have earned me the title of being his favorite customer to date. Plus, the perks are amazing because I’ve long stopped paying for my drinks. They’re always ‘on the house’ and I’m more than tired of arguing with him about it so I simply accept the gesture as a token of him ‘liking’ my company. But I digress.
The point is, not only does that man have an amazing personality, which is a real bummer because I’m just waiting for something to be terribly wrong with him, he has an amazing physic as well.
It’s not like I’ve seen him naked or anything, but I will admit to fantasizing about seeing him nude and if my fantasies would just conjure up in real life, I’d die a happy and satisfied woman. Sure, his definitions and details are hidden underneath his clothes, but his body is still lean and sculpted even with his clothes on. It’s obvious he works out, and I’ve had the pleasure of learning bits and pieces about him since we’ve struck up a small friendship over the months I’ve been coming here.
He has the most beautiful, crystal blue eyes I’ve ever seen on a man and his hair is of this curly golden brown blonde. His lips are pink and look supple because I’ve never exactly tasted them, though I want to. Plus, every time he talks, I can’t help but wonder what they’d feel like against me. I try not to let my mind wonder but I can’t help it. It’s crazy, but again I can’t help it and I’m well aware that I’m not the only woman in here who has her eye on him. I’ve sat and watched women flirt and fail miserably in gaining his interest for more than a mere moment.
I think I’m the only one he really, genuinely talks to in here but I guess it’s because I’m the most persistent. I mean…seven months is a hell of a long ass time to be doing this, yet I don’t see myself stopping any time soon. Hey, that’s an addiction for you. It’s a hard habit to break. I used to tease him about being gay but by now, I’m pretty sure that he’s as straight as they come.
Now, I’m proud to say that his name is Justin, he’s twenty-four, his other job is being a freelance photographer (he makes some serious dough in that field surprisingly), he’s single…again that’s astonishing (I still don’t believe him), his favorite color is blue, favorite movie is Ferris Bueller’s day off, favorite sport is basketball, favorite pastime is playing the piano and guitar (I wanted to ask more about that, but didn’t pry), favorite food is cereal (didn’t know that was really a food per say), favorite ice cream is Daiquiri Ice and the list could go on forever. Plus, I’ve picked up on all the little things you learn about someone when you spend enough time around them, getting to know them. But, even with all that, and sharing about myself with him in idle talk, I still feel like we don’t know each other.
We’re not strangers, but, we’re not best buds either. I think we’ve both built up protective walls that neither of us have the balls to really try and break down. But I find him endearing, so I’m going to keep this going for as long as possible or until one of us caves and lays his or her cards out on the table. I’m just hoping that he doesn’t get tired with me and I’m faced with the rejection card else I’ll be mortified.
Making my way through the sweaty bodies out gyrating on the dance floor, I stop shyly a few feet away from the bar. I’m positive he won’t be able to spot me easily because where I’m standing is dark and there are people moving around me. I can see him perfectly from here though. Swiping my light caramel brown hands over my short fitted red dress, I sigh, adjusting my breasts before I push some loose stands of raven hair out of my face. Here goes nothing…again.
Strutting up to the bar in the most casual way possible, my eyes dart to my red heels momentarily since I always fall short of making instant eye-contact with him. I’m pretty sure he’s spotted me by now as I sit in my favorite spot on the same stool, just off the right end of the bar.
Finally gazing up, I plaster a bright smile on my face and like clockwork, his blues latch onto my browns for a split second, a knowing grin forming on his lips before his attention is swayed by someone shouting their drink order over the blaring music to him. I always get that light feeling in the pit of my stomach when our eyes connect for the first time every night. I usually push back any nervous tendencies that threaten to sway me into making a fool of myself.
Like always, I sit patiently waiting for him to get done with his customer as I study him intently. He’s wearing a green fitted graffiti printed shirt and jeans beneath his bartender apron. His casual style suits him well. I like it. He’s not the type to make a fuss over material possessions even though he has some sweet ownership of a few toys. Obviously, we don’t get to chat constantly since he has to work, but he always makes time for me between his servings, keeping me occupied. Plus he says that I keep him company, strangely enough.
I usually leave a few minutes before his shift ends simply because I have no idea how to converse with him outside of just sitting there, watching him do what he does best behind that bar. I’m pretty sure I’ll space if I was to face him without that large counter as a barrier between us.
Casting my vision over the many bodies under the multicolored lighting, my attention is immediately diverted when a glass slides down the counter, stopping in front of me with my favorite drink of choice staring me in the face. Smiling, I pick it up and dip my manicured nails into the glass, pulling out the olive to eat it first before I take a sip. I’m not sure when it happened but dry martinis got their clutches into me and ever since I haven’t been able to knock that habit either.
“I’m going to have to switch that up next time. I’m a little worried that you’ve only drunk that one drink for the past few months I’ve known you.”
Smirking as I’m met with his southern twang, I look up to meet eyes with Justin realizing that he’s hovering over the counter now with one of his elbows propped up on the surface, holding up his weight.
“Well you know us alcoholics always have our poison of choice which is our favorite.” I joke and he smirks in return, a look of disbelief washing over his face.
“Don’t say that Angel else you’ll really have me worried.”
Blushing, I sip on my drink again, loving that he calls me Angel instead of Angela. It’s little things like that that make me realize he’s past the acquaintance level with me and actually has a personal liking or whatever it is towards me.
“So, how’s tonight going? It seems kind of slow.” I state, realizing that his station is practically cleared. Gazing around, Justin shrugs uncaringly. I’m sure he’s glad for the break.
“You know, it’s the first week of a new month. I think everyone has successfully paid the bills and used up whatever spending money they had left from their paychecks at the end of the previous month.” He chuckles and I giggle along with him.
“Maybe.” I smile and his blues twinkle in amusement before he excuses his self again to attend to another customer. I watch silently as some random redhead flirts with him, trying to score a free drink on him but Justin doesn’t crack easily. Instead, he returns her smile warmheartedly before rattling out the price and moving off to prepare her drink of choice.
Looking in my direction, the woman arches a brow at me in question, wondering why I’m obviously glaring at her, but her attention is swayed when Justin returns with her drink. Paying him, she gestures him forward and he leans as far over the counter as he can to listen to whatever she’s telling him. Then, I see his eyes widen before he laughs out loudly, telling her it’s ‘ok’ and something else I can’t quite distinguish before he utters to have a good night. Thanking him, she pays another brief glance in my direction before disappearing into the sea of bodies with her drink in grasp.
Wiping his hands on a towel, Justin comes back over to me and I sigh when I stare at the way he grips the bottles, his biceps and triceps flexing as he flips them in the air effortlessly before he catches them and puts them back in place…showoff.
“So…” I drift, finishing off my drink, still eyeing him.
“So…” he mocks me, his blues meeting my browns and holding my intense gaze. “She thought you were my girlfriend and that I was ‘off limits.’ She even apologized and everything. Can you believe it?” He snickers and I nearly choke on the last drop of my drink as my eyes widen in shock.
“What?!” I gasp and he chuckles, dipping his head back in the process. “Oh my god…I didn’t look at her in any way.” I defend.
“Apparently, you must have given off that ‘he’s-mine-get-off-my-territory-because-all-trespassers-will-be-shot’ female radar that only your species can detect.” He teases me and I smack his arm playfully.
“I did not! Oh my god.” I can feel my cheeks reddening now. “You set her straight right?” I inquire.
“Uh…” Stumbling over his words, he breaks eye contact with me, moving around to prepare my second drink and my brows knit in confusion as I suddenly become intrigued with his hesitancy.
“Justin? What did you say?” I inquire when he ambles over to me, handing me my drink with two olives in it this time. Staring at the clear liquid, I smile before pulling out the first olive to eat, savoring the salty taste. I’ll leave the other one for last. “Damn this is good but you need to stop the freebies because if your boss finds out you’re so fired.” I giggle but he doesn’t seem fazed.
“You’re not telling and neither am I so we’re good.” He assures.
“Ok.” I say slowly, picking up on his now edgy stance. He’s usually relaxed and comfortable but I’m sensing a shift in tension. It’s subtle, but I’ve been around him long enough to notice any changes in his mood or behavior no matter how slight or seemingly insignificant they may be. “So what did you tell her?” He didn’t think I’d let it slide did he?
“Nothing…really. Nothing much.” He explains, biting the corners of his mouth.
“Uh huh. Define really and much in the context you used them.” I probe and he opens his mouth to speak, but shuts it again before he pulls out a cloth and begins wiping off the wet spots on the counter. “Justin…was it that bad?! Did you tell her you hated me or something?” I say shocked and his eyes widen in surprise.
“What? No, no quite the opposite in fact.” And just like that, his gorgeous smile returns as he stops what he’s doing to face me directly.
“Meaning?”
Sighing in defeat, he drops the cloth and stares at me with interest. “I may have told her that you’re not really the controlling or over jealous type and that you’re totally cool and open-minded when it comes to me and other women.” He points out and my curiosity skyrockets by his divulgence.
“In other words you told her I was your girlfriend.” I say astounded, but he shakes his head in protest.
“Not exactly. I simply didn’t bother to correct her assumptions.” He counters, a challenging glimmer shining through those hypnotizing blues.
“Ah, which means you implied that her assumptions were correct. Why with the explanation you gave.” I rebut and he leers at me.
“Guilty.” He beams and I shake my head at him in utter hilarity even though I’m secretly screaming with delight on the inside.
“You’re something else Justin.” I cackle.
“You can’t blame me, considering I find it very hard that for the past seven months you’ve stuck with your lame story that you...don’t have a man and don’t want a man.” He actually added the high feminine pitch with a snap of his finger and swaying hips while doing the neck rotation and everything at the end!
“Oh my god…you’re a trip Justin.” I laugh loudly when he pretends to be feminine in front of me so openly. What a goof. I love that about him. “Ha-ha. Ok mister man.” I snicker and he rolls his eyes before a slow… “Girllll” leaves his lips as he bats his eyelashes dramatically. “Stop!” I shriek, placing down my glass when my body trembles from my intense laughter.
“So really honey, this is just us girls now talking. Tell me the truth. Who is he?” He probes with a lisp in his feminine tone. “And is he ‘foine,’ does he work it good? What are his pockets like because you know if the man doesn’t bring home the bacon he better hit the road jack and don’t you come back no more…oukay!” Smiling at me, he snaps his fingers again with his other hand on his hip and I place my palms over my face, feeling embarrassed for him as I try to hold down my giggles.
“Oh man, I wish I had a camcorder right now to tape this. You’re crazy Justin.” I grin brightly. I can’t help it. He’s too adorable for words when he’s like this. He’s always so comfortable and can be himself with just about anybody. It’s amazing. I guess his job works well for him. He’s the extroverted type.
Leaning his head down, he pinches the bridge of his nose before his deep chuckles return and he cuts his show short. “I can always get you when Justina comes into play.” He states proudly, his voice now octaves lower. He’s talking about his alter-ego who happens to be a woman. Yeah, it’s something we do on a regular shockingly. I love it though. He did it once to cheer me up when I came in here feeling ‘down in the dumps’ due to an accounting merger going downhill and it’s been stuck with us ever since. It’s refreshing though, because for the time that I spend concentrating on his insane behind, I forget about my dull, boring, lonely life.
“You always get me.” I reiterate and he nods in agreement.
“You know it Angel. But seriously, I’m finding it hard to believe that you don’t want a man. Every woman wants a good man in her life.” He says in all honestly, cutting the jokes as his serious nature kicks in. “And I’m pretty sure that every decent guy out there is looking for that special girl.” He says softly this time. His gaze is usually fierce yet subtle when he wants to get his point across.
“Well, not this one. I like the independence and freedom.” I all but tell the truth.
“Uh huh.” Justin says, not buying my lame excuse as he smirks at me, a cunning smile playing over his lips.
“What?” I say innocently and he leans forward, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
“Ok Angel, peep this.” He begins with a gangster stance and I giggle at his attempt to lighten the situation. “I can believe you don’t have a man presently, but I won’t believe that you don’t want one.” Pausing, his blues latch onto my browns and he smiles slyly. “I’ll tell you what I think though. I think that you just haven’t gotten the man you want yet…or maybe…” Drifting again, his smile widens. “He just doesn’t know that you indeed want him so he can make the first move.” Damn, he knows me so well…
“Huh.” I breathe out, downing the rest of my drink in a few large gulps before chewing on the second olive. “Ok, ok, that’s possible.” I admit and he frowns, but we’re interrupted when three customers show up at the bar, clearly already intoxicated, ordering a round of drinks for their small party.
“Excuse me.” Justin whispers, giving me a sweet smile before he walks away to attend to the club goers.
In the short space of time he’s away, I can’t help but realize that we’re flirting a lot heavier that we usually do with each other tonight. Plus, all his indirect comments about me having a guy and telling that woman that I was practically his girlfriend have my mind riling. I’m thinking he’s trying to tell me something, but I’m maybe too dense and too caught up with denial and uncertainty to really welcome whatever message he’s trying to get across. I’m not given much time to dwell on my thoughts because he’s back in my line of sight already, pulling off his apron.
“Sorry about that.” Justin apologizes and I nod in understanding.
“It’s ok. But hey, what are you doing?” I ask, knowing he only takes off his apron when he’s done for the night.
“I’m ending my shift two hours early. I need to catch the last set of cabs that run in this area else I’m stuck with the buses and their route takes so much longer for me to get home. I need some shut eye. I have this photography appointment tomorrow with some big label artist I’m supposed to shoot. It’s a photo shoot session for a Tami Chynn.” He explains and my eyes light up.
“I love her music! I love Frozen!” I exclaim and he laughs at me.
“Well, I’m sorry I can’t take you.” He begins and I smile shyly, thinking it’s sweet that his first thought was to take me along. “There’s some contract agreement about the artist’s privacy.” He explains further feeling a need to make me understand even though I already do. “But, I could maybe score some sighed stuff for you. Is that ok?” He inquires, putting things away and cleaning up for the next person who’s going to take over the rest of his shift.
“Wow, that would be amazing Justin.” I say honestly and he smiles in return.
“Ok, I’ll see what I can do.” He points out and I before I can hop off my stool, he raises the latch at the end of the counter and undoes the lock on the small built-in door before walking through to greet me at my seat.
Oh dear god I think my heart just palpitated. Oh boy. Oh no, this is bad. This is what I feared. I’ve never…he’s…standing right in front of me now, with no barrier between us. That overly huge counter was my shield. Now what?
Swallowing hard, I move to stand, nearly toppling over in my heels but Justin catches me in the nick of time as I fall into his embrace.
“Wow there Angel. Looks like I’m going to have to cut you down to two instead of your usual three drinks.” He snickers and I groan before regaining my balance.
Looking up at him, I smile, but his expressions remain unreadable before he pulls away from me suddenly, taking a step back.
“Right…so…” He drifts as he gazes around the bustling club. “I’d ask you to dance but I guess I’m going to have to save that for another time.” He beams, knowing damn well he’s never made that insinuation before.
“How far exactly do you live from here Justin? I could drop you home if you’d like.”
I note the skepticism on his face as he contemplates on whether that’s a good idea or not. “No, thanks for the offer but I’ll be good Angel, just get home safely. It’s a good distance away and it’s late. I don’t want you traveling all that way back by yourself.” He says earnestly and I shrug.
“Well if you’re ever in a bind, the offer is open.”
I’m well aware that both of his rides are in the shop getting tune-ups and whatever it is that he’s having done to them so he’s been taking public transportation for the time being. I love that I can know these little things about him that he openly shares with me. We’re in New York, so it’s not so bad. Everyone knows how crazy New York’s lifestyle is. He’s still just a southern boy at heart since he was raised in Tennessee and I’m your regular sunshine girl since I originally came from Florida. He basically doesn’t make much of a fuss over anything.
“I guess this is where I bid you farewell then.” Justin chortles.
“Bye Jay-C-a penny.” I smile, using my crazed nickname for him that came about when he was being his alter ego Justina and made all these crazy comments about shopping at the on sale rack inside of JC penny.
He complained about how he wished he could buy the clothes for a penny since even though the clothes were on sale they were still too damn expensive. He said the store’s name should hold up since they’re portraying that their stuff is cheap or that everything costs a penny only to find a pair of jeans for like fifty bucks. It was hilarious. I laughed so much. He was really crazy being all girly and stuff. Plus, I’m pretty sure Justin had no clue as to what he was talking about. He was just being a clown.
It’s the weirdest thing in the world, and I don’t know how things went that far, but it stuck and he doesn’t seem to mind that it’s longer than his actual name. I usually just call him Jay for short.
Laughing, Justin closes the gap between us before pulling me into an unexpected hug.
“Bye Angel. I’ll see you next week, same time and place.” He says while skimming my back lightly and I feel my eyes roll to the back of my head when I take in his body heat and sent.
“Uh huh. It’s a date.” Is all I manage to get out in a forced tone since his closeness is driving me and my hormones insane.
He finally pulls away to stare at me. “Sure you’re good enough to drive?” He asks with concern and I nod, barely feeling a buzz. My body has built quite the tolerance.
“I’m good don’t worry about me. Go home and get that night’s rest for your job tomorrow.”
“Ok take care girl.” Bending down, Justin’s lips brush against my cheek delicately in a soft kiss and I sigh before I can catch myself.
Leaning back, he smiles for me one last time before gripping my hand softly to lead me to the exit where we part ways, waving goodbye like old friends before we both exit the club heading in different directions.
And just like that, my night with him is over, till next week Friday again. Ugh, only seven more days. I can take it. I swear I can. I’m not going to have withdrawal symptoms or anything. I need to keep that trend of thought as I head over to my car so I can go home and hit the sheets.
Even though we both have each other’s phone numbers, it’s strange but we’ve never used them. I guess we have a non-verbal understanding that once Friday rolls around we’ll be cool, so there never was use for them. Justin just wanted to make sure that I knew he was someone I could call if ever I needed help and I wanted him to know the same.
Yes, it’s downright lame, but maybe we’re just both in the denial over the fact that neither has enough guts to make the first move and call. Because then, that would mean we’ve crossed over our safe zone into some unchartered territory. It won’t just be me chilling in the club keeping him company anymore. It will be something more and I’m not sure that we’re ready for that.
Still, I’ve got him on speed dial in second place, right after my mom.
A girl can dream right?
*****
Sprawled out on the sheets clothed in only a pair of blue boxers, Justin laid with his hands behind his head staring at his bedroom ceiling. Even though he knew he needed to get some sleep, he couldn’t shut his mind off long enough for that to happen. He couldn’t help that he kept thinking about her…Angela. She wasn’t like any other woman he’d met. She was so very different in his eyes. At first, when she began showing up at the club he didn’t think anything of it. He noticed her instantly because of her long toned caramel legs that were always exposed in the little numbers she wore. It was when she kept coming back that he took a special interest in her. Now, he wasn’t cocky, but he knew he was a good looking guy and he had women do a lot of things to gain his attention in the past.
He didn’t quite pick up on what Angela was doing until she began talking to him. He had to give it to her, her method was different and that’s what drew him in. He knew she was interested, but she took it upon herself to take a different route in attempting to get to know him instead of simply coming on to him. Justin thought that was quite endearing of her and before he knew it, she had him. He wasn’t quite sure when he fell into this trend of her showing up every Friday at his job but it became part of his regular routine, giving his job a whole new purpose. Now he actually wanted to be there in that club every Friday for fear that if he missed one night he’d disappoint her and maybe lose her in the process before he even really had her.
Well it was obvious he was more than smitten with her. Not only was she beautiful but her personality was refreshing. She had a good head on her shoulders and kept him on his toes. He wasn’t sure how they got to this point, but over the course of those months they became good friends and honestly, she was the closest friend he had right now in females.
Smirking when he remembered their little banter tonight, Justin hoped that she got what he was trying to tell her when she denied wanting a good guy in her life. He wasn’t exactly screaming ‘pick me,’ but he was thinking it. Still, just having her there in his presence was a blessing because he got to spend time with her and he’d always end up falling in love with her smile all over again every Friday night.
Damn he had it bad. He wondered what she’d think if he told her that he was feeling her vibes too. He contemplated on mentioning it to her or at least asking her out, but never quite built up the courage to.
After what that woman said to him about her being his girlfriend tonight at the bar, it really made him think and now his mind was made up. Next week, he was going to at least attempt to let Angela know how he felt. He wasn’t sure how he would do it, but it needed to be done. She was a gorgeous woman and it would only be a matter of time before someone took her away. Justin couldn’t let that happen. He figured whenever she stopped coming to that bar, it would mean that she was otherwise occupied and he dreaded that. In fact, he was always a little on edge until she showed up to set him at ease.
There was no way around it. Next week, he was going to make a change hoping she’d accept him as he was…her Jay.
Laughing at the nickname she had for him, Justin turned over to lie on his side on the bed so he could grab some shut-eye.
As sleep finally took over, a small smile played across his lips. He wouldn’t verbally admit it, but over the months he’d known her, Angela quickly became his own personal earth Angel, hence his nickname for her…
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