Chapter 11 - The Confrontation(s) - Part 1
Two Weeks Later...
These last two or so weeks have been difficult. Justin is more reserved and unresponsive than I've ever seen him. I'm not sure what it is, but I think his psychological issues are taking a different turn. He's acting like things are ok when we both know they aren't. I guess he doesn't want me to worry too much.
He's been spending a lot of time with Ronnie and Jacob, trying to work out whatever plan they supposedly have, to deal with his ‘Grant and JC situation' as he calls it. I'm not completely angry that he's too busy for me or Courtney. It's given me more flexibility and believe it or not, I'm sort of enjoying the part freedom that I have.
Still, it's kind of weird that he's ok with me leaving the house now. He doesn't pressure me about it or keep me on a short leash. The only thing he tells me is to be careful and keep my eyes open. I guess he's too preoccupied to care now. Well whatever it is, I don't mind.
"Here's your drink Diane. Don't get too wasted now. Justin isn't here to carry you home."
Spinning around in my stool, I smile sweetly for Ricardo before I grab my Hennessey and Coke from his grasp. Thanking him, I take a sip of the substance before I glance at my surroundings.
I'm at Justin's establishment now and it's late in the afternoon. The girls are here as well setting up for later, but since Justin instructed me that I won't be performing until further notice, I've be relieved of all my duties. I know the other girls are grudging his decision to take me out of the show but they shouldn't really. They have no idea what's going on. I don't even know what's going on...
"I'm not Justin Ricardo. He has a stomach made for alcohol. One drink does the trick for me." I giggle and Ricardo just shakes his head in amusement.
"All the more reason why you shouldn't drink...but knock yourself out." He muses as he wipes down the counter of the bar.
Nodding my head in agreement, I take a large gulp from my drink before fixing myself in my seat.
"If you don't need me for anything, I'm going to head out and get those orders to stock up the bar for tonight." Ricardo states and I shake my head in response before he swiftly leaves to attend to his business.
This is sort of nice. I'm just chilling here not worrying about too much. I can't get Justin and JC off the brain though but it's no big deal right? I'll find out soon what's going on and everything will be solved I hope.
Justin is at home with Courtney and Rachel is somewhere backstage working on the wardrobes, hairdos and makeup for the girls. I'm thinking about heading home to join Justin and my baby though. Even though I trust him alone with our daughter now, I'm still worried since he's so hot and cold.
Yeah, I should maybe leave because I'm not looking for any of the girls to start any trouble with me over their jealous selves. I've seen the looks some of them are giving me. Some don't mind or care, but the others like Bethany are who I'm trying to avoid. I better ask the driver if he can take me home before any drama might arise. They don't need me here anyway.
Hopping off my stool, I down my glass then place it on the counter before smoothing out my blue top and jeans.
Giving the stage one last glance where I've performed practically naked countless times for the male and even female gender, I just roll my eyes, glad that I won't be cheapening myself tonight for the public's viewing pleasure.
Waving to a few of the girls out at the front who are still cool in my eyes, I maneuver between the tables and chairs until I make my way to the exit in search of the limo driver.
Only, my exit is cut short when a hyper JC comes storming through the front doors nearly knocking me over in the process.
Stumbling back, I feel him grip my waist tightly to steady us both before he finally locks eyes with me and realization hits him dead on. Almost immediately, he lets me go, allowing his hands to drop to his sides then takes a step back, still eyeing me intently.
"Diane?"
"JC...what's going on?" But I'm silenced when another man I've never seen before comes into view.
Frowning, I move around JC and quickly walk through the exit, not really caring to know what's going on right now. I just want to leave.
Gazing up and down the crowded sidewalk, I take in the busy Vegas lifestyles and all the passing vehicles and people. I think, if there ever comes a day when I gain my life back, I'd like to move away from here and maybe settle down somewhere like California close to the beach. Yeah, because out here is like a dessert, so a drastic change would be nice.
Spotting the driver down the street, idly resting against the door of the limo reading a newspaper, I move to head in his direction but stop when a hand grips my wrist firmly to spin me around.
And I'm face to face with JC again.
"Diane..." He's frantically searching my eyes as the same guy who seems to be with him is just smirking at us. "Where's Justin? Is he here?"
Yanking my hand away I turn to leave but JC stops me again. "Diane please talk to me."
"JC, I'm not supposed to even be around you right now. Unless you're willing to tell me what's going on I'm leaving." I state firmly. I have no need for small talk.
Sighing, he runs his hands through his grown out hair before tugging harshly on the red t-shirt he's wearing. Connecting his deep blues to my browns, he groans before turning to face the same strange guy. "Grant we should just..." But I interrupt them.
"You're Grant?" I ask incredulously while studying the tall man closely. He looks like a hard ass with his chiseled face and sly smile. Ugh. I'm not sticking around to hear whatever they have to say.
"Pleasure Miss Blossom." He grins.
Diverting my attention back to JC and ignoring Grant for the most part, I scoff. "I'm leaving Joshua. And Justin isn't in there so you should maybe leave too and not cause any trouble."
"No Diane wait!" JC calls out when I start a quick pace down the busy sidewalk. I'm not listening to him. There is nothing he can say to me right now. "Please Di, Justin isn't who you think he is." He rambles out and ok, that got my attention.
Whipping around to face the two men, I arch a brow in question. "Ok..." I begin but JC shakes his head as he catches his breath since he was trying to catch up to me.
"Listen, he's...he..." Pausing briefly, he turns around to Grant as if asking for some sort of silent permission. When Grant shakes his head, JC looks back at me and I notice how his features stiffen and his eyes darken. "Diane I'm sorry you have to find out like this but, Justin he's a lot of things I'm sure you know, but I bet you didn't know he markets women..."
Say what? Both he and Justin are saying shit about the other to save their skins. That's just so childish.
"Excuse me?" I belt in perplexity. Is this a joke?
"Miss Blossom, your lover boy sells women as sex slaves. I bet you're wondering why he doesn't want anyone to know about his new club and why he keeps you as his best girl. Well it's obvious. You're his first and best bet and you can bet that if you stay with him he's going to sell you. What kind of business do you think he's going to do with this new club? Exactly that Diane." Grant explains but I shake my head rapidly until he shuts up.
"You people...You're crazy. You're lying. Yes, Justin is a lot of things but he'll never do that...any of that. That's completely heartless. I'm not listening to this." I snap.
"Diane it's true. Just ask him if you don't believe us. That's what I couldn't tell you when we spoke Diane. That's why I've been trying to help you...help you get away from this before it was too late." JC pleads but I'm tuning him out. They're mental. They're both psychotic and I'm not listening to anymore of this craziness.
"Just shut up JC! Shit! I don't believe you. So just...leave me alone!" I scream, before whipping around and dashing down the sidewalk until I get to the driver.
Blinking back my tears of confusion, I beg him to take me home and quickly hop into the vehicle before JC and Grant can catch up to me again.
The last thing I hear before we pull out into the street is JC's fading voice yelling at me to ask Justin if I want to find out the truth.
The truth?
Please, I think the truth was lost among all of their lies years ago. There is no truth to anything in my life anymore. The only truth I have left is Courtney and I'm taking her away from this once and for all before I lose her like I've lost myself and everything else around me...
****
I've finally gotten back to Justin's estate.
The limo doesn't completely stop before I bolt out of it and through the front door in haste.
I can hear Courtney and Justin out by the pool laughing up a storm. Humph. He won't be laughing when I get out there, but first, I need to gather some things.
Running up the stairs by twos, I get to my room and bust the door open. Dashing around, I grab one of my duffle bags from out of the closets.
In no time flat, I'm stuffing the bag with any and every piece of clothing I can fit from my draws. When it's full, I zip it shut and give myself one quick glance in the mirror. This is one of those days when I hardly recognize the person staring back at me. I quickly tie my long brown locks up into a bun still studying my reflection. But, I'm trying to kill the mirror habit, so, with a huff and a scowl, I'm out the door with my duffle bag slung over my shoulders.
Stopping at the small wooden table in the middle of the hallway, I root the draw open knowing that's where Justin keeps one of his guns hidden in plain sight. Pulling out the revolver, I check to see if it's loaded. Confirming my suspicions, I place it in the waistband of my jeans before I grab the keys to Justin's Escalade that he hardly ever drives off the table.
It's time I did something for myself for once. If we're really in some type of danger, then I'm looking at Justin as a threat as well as JC. I'm not sticking around for them to settle their issues. I'm going to be as far away from this nightmare as possible.
Briskly walking down the winding staircase, I can't help the flashes that float through my mind taking me back to the day Justin found out I was pregnant with Courtney. I remember taking a nasty fall down those stairs by his hand. Back then, he was ruthless and even if he's different now, he's still the same person.
I can't endure any of that again. I love him. I really do, you have to believe that, but, it's not enough. It will never be enough and I've come to that painful realization. He doesn't deserve the privilege of me telling him how I feel either. He'd just take it for granted like he has always done with everything and everyone around him.
Dropping my duffle bag by the front door, I make it out to the pool under the setting sun, squinting until Justin and Courtney come into view. They're both soaking wet by a lounge chair. Justin is taking off the floats from her petite arms before he wraps her tiny frame with a huge white towel. His back it to me as he places her to seat on the chair before he grabs a towel to wipe his face then rests it down next to them.
God, they look so adorable and breathtaking that I almost forget why I'm so upset right now. Why am I even upset? I think it has something to do with my encounter with JC and Grant.
Clearing my throat loudly, I watch as Courtney and Justin whip around in my direction. Courtney's eyes light up instantly and she quickly hops down on her feet and sprints over to me with the towel swallowing her little frame.
"Mommy!" She beams before she crashes into my thighs. Bending down to hug her and give her a kiss, I easily instruct her to go into the house stating I'll be right there.
When she's out of sight, I notice Justin walking over to me with a light smile on his face, but when my eyes meet his own, he stops abruptly and his smile fades into a frown.
"Di, I...I thought you were staying to watch the show. I said I'd meet you all down there." He voices, but I have other things on my mind right now.
"No, no that's fine because I'm leaving." I mumble before turning around to walk away. I can't stand here and get into a confrontation with him now. I'd break. He has too much power over me.
"What? Diane what's going on?" Justin belts before he rushes up to me and spins me around.
I knew this was too easy. He can't just let me walk away.
Bowing my head, I can feel the air leaving my body faster than I can breathe. Oh god. "I...I'm..." Then he gasps and lifts my chin to look at me with shock written all over his face.
"What the fuck are you doing with my gun on you?" His voice is still soft and shaky as he tries to make sense of everything. His finger is pointing to the hard object in my waist as his blues twinkle in bewilderment.
"I...took it for protection." I sigh, not wanting to tell him that he's part of the reason.
"Protection? Against what? Me?! And where the fuck are you going? You just got here." Justin states as his tone's gentle nature is quickly diminishing while his eyes widen. "Are you leaving me? Is that what's going on?"
Smacking his hands away, I jack him roughly in his bare damp chest, trying not to relish in how good he looks in just his white swimming trunks that are hanging low around his slender waist, as he's dripping wet and tanned from being out in the sun all afternoon.
Shaking my head sadly, I burst through the sliding doors and make my way through the kitchen but I'm stopped again when I feel a pair of strong arms grip my waist and turn me around to rest on the edge of one of the counters.
And in a flash, he closes the gap between us until he's practically breathing down my neck.
"What the fuck is going on Diane? You're like some crazy bitch with the way you're behaving. Explain yourself." He demands with a sharp pitch in his voice. He's trying to control his anger. I can see it boiling to the surface in his stare alone, but so far, he's got it on lock down.
"Just let me go." I whimper not in the mood to converse with him. "I said I'm leaving. That's all you need to know. So just let me go."
"Jesus, tell me something Di! Let me understand what the fuck this is. You just show up out of nowhere and you're not really saying anything! What's your problem?"
"Justin..." But he cuts me off.
"I thought we got past this. I thought you said you'd stay. Why are we back to this again? We were making progress! Goddamn it woman!" He screams as his nostrils begin to flare and I know, I know he's losing his battle with keeping his temper at bay.
His palms find my wrist and he grips me tightly there, pinning my hands down on the counter as he presses his body firmly against mine. I'm not going anywhere...
"Please just..."
"What the fuck happened to make you like this?" He screams. "Huh? What the fuck happened while you were gone Di? Something fucking happened else you'd not be like this right now..." But he trails when I moan in pain. It's like something went off in his brain because he quickly releases the hold he has on me creating some space between us. "Shit, say something! Help me understand your sudden change in behavior!" He shouts.
Breaking eye contact, I can feel my tears rushing to the surface. I don't want to do this, I don't want to go. What the hell am I doing? "I...I met JC and Grant and..."
"What?! They didn't hurt you did they?" He says in a panicked tone.
"No, no but...but they said some things and I got to thinking and it's not safe here for me and Courtney. I...I just need a break Justin. I need to take her away from here, I just need some space to breathe and..."
But he bushes me off before walking up to me again. "Diane, what did they tell you?"
"Justin..."
"What did they fucking tell you?!"
Jumping back at the fierceness in his voice, I bow my head again, still trying to fathom the fact that what they said might be true. I just need to end this now before it goes any further.
"They said...you weren't who I thought and you...you sell women as sex slaves and you were going to sell me and some other things." I'm stunned into silence when he suddenly begins heaving right in front of me. His hands find his head as he reverses until his back slams against the kitchen wall. Wow. "But...but I told them they were lying Justin! I didn't believe them." I quickly add in, wondering what I just said to make him trip like this.
"But you're leaving. You leaving means you believed some of what they said. You're running away from me Di. You think I'm the one doing this? What if I told you it was the other way around huh? What if I said it was your precious JC trying to save his ass? What would you think then?" He growls and I don't even want to know. I can't deal with this right now.
"Just stop Justin! I'm so sick of all of this. Frankly, I do not care to know who is telling the truth. Fuck the truth! I just want out! Just leave me alone and let me go!" I belt before I turn and run out of the kitchen.
Walking into the living room I find Courtney still wrapped in her towel sitting watching television. She has the volume really loud as Spongebob's annoying laugh echoes through the room. At least she didn't hear us arguing thank goodness.
Rushing over to her, I scoop her up in my arms hearing her giggle lightly before she latches unto my shoulder. "Mommy go in the pool with me and daddy?" She asks hopefully but I shake my head 'no'.
"No baby, we're going for a little ride." I explain, heading for the front door.
I should have known Justin would be there waiting.
"Diane, don't do this please. You don't know what's going on. Just let me explain. You're not safe away from me Di. I'm telling you..."
"Just let me go Justin. I don't want to hear what you have to say now. When I did, you wouldn't share with me. I don't want to talk, I just want to fucking leave. I'll come back...I...I will." I mutter.
"No...no you won't. If I let you go, you'll never come back Di. Not if you can help it." His form is completely broken. His switch in moods is so intense that he constantly throws me for a loop.
"Get out of the way Justin." I groan in annoyance, since he's blocking my path to the front door.
"No! I won't let you go Di. Just come down from your fucking high and listen to me for a minute!" He pleads as his eyes cloud over. Why is he making this so difficult?
"Justin..."
"I won't let you go, do you hear me? I fucking won't. You're not taking my little girl." He grunts before he takes a step towards us. Dear god he's lost his fucking mind.
Backing away from him, I tighten my grip on Courtney. She's silent like she always is. She's staring wide-eyed at Justin as her little body trembles against mine. He's scaring her. He needs to stop this madness. "Just stop Justin! You're scaring Courtney."
"Then say you won't go Di. Please, just listen to me, let me explain. Let me tell you what's going on." He's fucking begging and he looks pathetic but my heart is aching right now. It's down right breaking in my chest at how distraught he seems to be. I can see the fear and pain in his eyes. His anguish is weighing down on him and I just know he's going to snap at any minute. I can't stay here for this.
Blinking rapidly, I burry my head in Courtney's curls trying to catch my breath so I don't breakdown in front of them. "Justin, if you care about us at all, you'll let us go." I say softly as my voice quakes. "Please you may not want to see it, but it's best that we're away from all of this...away from you." My voice fades as I look up at him.
His mouth gapes open slightly but nothing comes out. He's perturbed, not able to really make sense of his own emotions I bet. "What the fuck is happening?" He moans while shaking his head and casting his vision to his marbled floor. Moving away from the door, he rests against the wall before he lets himself go, sliding until he's crouched over on the floor.
Staring at him oddly, I have no idea what to say now. We always get to this point of destruction. I know I said I wouldn't leave, but how stupid would I be to stay here?
"Look Justin, I'll come back. I promise I will. I'm going to Rachel's for a bit then I don't know...I just need some space ok? And I didn't believe them Justin. You would never do the things they mentioned, I know. If...dear god if that's what JC and Grant are into then I understand why I need to stay away from them, so don't worry about it. Just let me do this please. This environment is not healthy for Courtney...think about her Justin." I plead.
He's just sitting on the floor staring off into space. Why does he always switch like this? "You know, it's worse this way." He mumbles mindlessly. Did he even hear what I just said? "I mean, the last time they were taken away from me...killed right in front of me and there was nothing I could do but this time, this time you're leaving...that's...that's worse." He's rambling. Is he having a breakdown? God, where is Rachel when I need her?
"Daddy..." Courtney snaps me out of my thoughts. I almost forgot...she can hear everything that's being said. She may not understand it, but we don't exactly watch our tongues around her and I really think we should.
Snapping his head up when she calls out to him, Justin gives her a small smile. "It's ok...you're going with mommy, you'll be fine." He assures her.
"You come?" She questions, looking down at him. "Daddy you come?" She whimpers when he doesn't answer. "No cwry daddy."
Frowning at her, I look back down at Justin and sure enough, his cheeks are moist. I was so caught up with paying attention to Courtney I didn't even notice when he...god, his eyes are reddening by the second and there are tears still pouring out of his beautiful orbs. He's having a freaking breakdown right in front of his daughter. Oh god.
"Justin..." I gasp, but he shrugs me off before standing up on his feet.
"Just leave Di. How are you even getting off the estate?" He growls, before wiping at his nose. He doesn't seem to care that there are tears streaming down his cheeks. He seems numb to it all.
"I uh have the keys to your escalade but if you don't want me to take it then..."
"No, that's fine. I don't fucking care, just keep Courtney safe." He interrupts still sniffling. So he's ok with me leaving now? I wish he'd make up his damn mind.
"God, Justin don't do this please...something is really wrong with you." How can he openly cry like this? It's like his entire status is shot to shit. It's almost like he's not this badass multi millionaire who thinks he's a pimp and is hard and ruthless with people.
Looking at him now, he just seems like...Justin to me. All I see is a deeply troubled man loosing the one thing he's managed to care about presently in his life. And it's my entire fault.
"Just fucking go Diane! Goddamn it!" He shouts before he brushes past me to leave.
Placing Courtney down to stand by the door, I rush up and grip his arm before he can get to the stairs. "Justin I'm sorry! Why won't you understand that this is what's best?!" I plead, forcing him to face me.
Avoiding eye contact, he wipes roughly at his swelling eyes before scowling. "It's not what's best. At least I don't believe that. You're doing this because of a fucking encounter with JC and Grant. What am I supposed to think Di? You're afraid of me again...that's fine. Just don't keep Courtney away from me Diane, please, I can't live through this a second time around." Glaring at me with a pained expression on his face, I'm almost tempted to say fuck it and stay, but I can't. Not this time...god what are we doing? This is being drawn out too long...
Nodding, I turn to leave without responding. Grabbing my duffle bag, I sling it over my shoulder before I pick up Courtney and swing the front door open, only, Justin's next statement causes me to freeze in place, shocking me to the point where I almost drop my baby girl from my arms.
"I can't do this alone Di. I fucking need you and Courtney. God, I fucking love you Di...it's not fair..." Justin cries out as his voice cracks through his sobs...and, and what just...what did he just say?
Holy shit! "Oh my god..." I gasp, just staring at him in awe. What...what did he just say? "Oh my god Justin you just...you just said..."
His eyes widen significantly as he finally catches himself. "I...I...I didn't..." Shaking his head rapidly, he walks up to us, pausing to take a good look at me before he starts mumbling incoherent phrases. "Just go Di. Go to Rachel's. I have to end this once and for all. I have to fucking end this." He rattles, pushing me out the doorway and unto the platform.
"No...Justin...wait, you just said..."
"I know what I fucking said! I can't do this right now!" He belts, but quickly shuts up when he notices Courtney jump in my arms due to the volume of his voice. "I have to end this Di." His eyes are pleading with me to understand but I don't, and before I can even get another word in, the door slams shut in my face.
He, he just kicked us out.
No, wait, I said I was leaving.
Yeah, we're going where it's safer. I need to do this. Not bothering to bang on the door to try and get him to open up, though I'm betting he would in a heartbeat, I whip around with Courtney still in my arms heading to his ride parked just outside of his spacious garage.
Pulling the keys out of my pocket where I shoved them earlier, I press the button to shut off the alarm and unlock the doors.
"Shit, he just said...said he loved me?" I stutter to myself in disbelief as I place Courtney in the back seat and strap her up. Running to the driver's side, I dump my duffle bag on the passenger's side when I hop in and place his gun in the glove compartment.
Bringing the car to life, I quickly place it in drive and press on the accelerator, heading down the driveway.
"Oh my god, did I hear him right?" I mutter again. Justin said he loved me. I'm not dreaming am I? I didn't hear things did I? Oh my god, then what the hell am I doing? Why am I leaving? I, I've longed to hear him say it. Granted it wasn't the best situation for him to blurt it out in but still he said it. And I'm pretty sure he meant it.
Reaching to the large estate gates, I press the code into the key pad, mesmerized by the large black metal bars as they slowly slide open.
"Oh my god..." I'm in shock, I can't think straight.
"Mommy?"
Gazing at Courtney through the mirror, I smile lightly for her. "Yes baby." I'm trying so hard to keep my resolve and not bust into tears over everything for her sake.
"I see Daddy again?" She inquires hopefully and I can feel the tears threatening to break through. Fluttering my eyes, I nod while swallowing harshly to prevent a whimper from spilling out of my lips.
"Yes sweetie." I choke out.
"Otay, we be fine." She smiles lightly before resting back in her seat and looking out the window. "I miss daddy mommy." She sighs, sounding so grown up all of a sudden.
"Me too baby, I miss him already." I coo, even though he's unhealthy for me...for both of us.
As I get unto the street of our silent neighborhood, I can't help but look back through those mirrors when the gates to his estate close. God, I'm lost. I'm so lost. I don't even know what I'm doing right now. But the first thing is first, I need to make sure my baby girl is safe. Then I can worry about everything else after.
Putting the lights on bright, I cautiously drive through our neighborhood, noting how the street lamps all come on since the sun has set and there's a light orange glow left in the sky before darkness completely takes over, consuming what's left of the daytime.
Still, all I can think about right now is Justin's haunting blues as he admitted his feelings to me before he was aware of what he was saying. I can only imagine what's going through his mind and heart right now.
And I want to cry again...
But everything happens for a reason right? This is all happening for a reason.
I just hope that whatever he's going to put to and end, it doesn't terminate the slim chance that we have left of a possible future as a family together...