Chapter 7 - The Date(s)
Part 2 - The Dating Truth
Same Day...
Hours Later...
Justin's Estate...
Early Saturday Evening...
“True love burns the brightest, but the brightest flames leave the deepest scars.” - unknown
"Daddy!"
Snapping his head in the direction of the small voice Justin smiles weakly, not making any attempt to move since he feels aweary. His eyes are slightly dilated from the alcohol he's ingested, but, he's still fully conscious and aware of his surroundings.
He watches intently as her little frame stops in the middle of the living room when their eyes connect. She instantly drops her head, casting her vision downwards while playing with the hem of her little blue dress. "I sorry. No scream at me." She pouts and he instantly realizes what she means. He knows she's talking about the fact that she just called him daddy. Placing the cup that he was drinking from down, he wipes his palms over his khaki shorts before he ruffles his black t-shirt to stand.
Closing the gap between them, he looks down at her head of curls remembering a time in his life when he got so much hell to tame his hair that he solved the problem by cutting it all off. He knows since she's a girl, combing her hair isn't going to be easy.
Dropping to his knees, his blues connect to her own as she watches him with a shy look on her face.
"I...I'm not going to scream at you Courtney." He finally speaks - his voice pained and doleful.
"Pwomise?" She asks hopefully, her big bright blues twinkling under the yellow chandelier lighting.
"I promise." Justin sighs.
"Otay!" She beams before she lunges at him and latches her arms around his neck. Tensing under her embrace, Justin's breath hitches in his throat when she says... "I wove you daddy; you be good." She whispers and that one gesture breaks him down. He can feel the familiar sting of tears coming to the surface and he desperately tries to regain his composure to will them away. Wrapping his large masculine arms around her small frame, he buries his head in her curls before he pulls her against him so he can stand.
"Courtney where are..." Rounding the corner to the living room, Rachel stops dead in her tracks when she sees the sight in front of her. "Um...J...Justin?" She asks nervously, not knowing what to think or do.
Snapping his head in her direction, Justin scowls. "Give me a minute Rach." He says calmly.
"Look Justin, It's getting late; I need to bring her home and Diane will kill me if she knew." Rachel explains while flipping her dark hair out of her face.
"Just give me fucking minute. And she's not going anywhere with you so just leave!" Justin spits out harshly, feeling Courtney freeze under his hold. Looking down at her, he sighs inwardly. "Just leave Rach. Diane will be back soon. Don't worry about it." He says in a softer tone, not wanting to scare Courtney.
Still giving him a skeptic look, Rachel raises her hands in defeat before she drops Courtney's bag on a nearby sofa. Gathering her belongings and keys, she gives Justin one last glance noting the uncertainty in his eyes. Against her better judgment, Rachel shakes her head sadly at her distraught cousin. "Being like this isn't going to bring any of them back Justin." She laments.
"Just shut up Rach! You weren't there. I was! You don't even know what happened." Justin says through gritted teeth, tightening his hold on his daughter.
"If you don't tell us, we can't help you."
"Just fucking leave." He snaps out while turning his back to her.
"Listen I'm sorry ok? Courtney has some bottles in her bag. It should last her up to tomorrow. Diane will take care of her when she gets back. Just, don't take out your anger on your daughter Justin. I'm warning you. She doesn't deserve your harshness; she's only three..."
"I fucking know that Rachel! Do you want me to kick your ass out?!" Gently placing Courtney down on the sofa, Justin ambles over to his cousin with the fire spitting out of his eyes. Courtney simply waves to Rachel telling her 'bye' and Rachel gives her a light smile before Justin blocks them out.
"Get the fuck out Rachel. You had no right to bring that shit up." Justin hisses in a low voice fighting to subdue his anger.
"Justin..." Drifting off when he grips her hand roughly, Rachel winces in pain but doesn't make any attempt to struggle against him. Dragging her to his front door, Justin yanks it open before he pushes her out unto the platform. "I'll see you tomorrow Justin." She bows her head, rubbing at the sore spot when he lets her go.
Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he takes a step back getting ready to close the barrier between them. "Whatever..." He chides before he slams the door shut in her face, locking it in the process.
Reversing and still staring at the wooden barrier, he roughly wipes at his face as a light coat of sweat begins to form on his forehead. Damn it, he really doesn't need any old memories resurfacing. He's in hell on earth already as it is.
Feeling a tug on his shorts he looks down to be met by a pair of curious blues. "Daddy bad. Not nice." Courtney pouts and he can't help but smile softly at that. She's actually scolding him. That's just...too weird for him...but, still cute though.
"I...I know...I..."
"You sowwy? Is ok." Courtney beams.
Blowing out air, Justin picks her up in his arms before he heads into the kitchen. Not knowing the first thing about parenting, he can feel the nerves slowly kick in since they are the only ones in here. He actually sent his girls out for the day so he could have this time to his self, but, when he realized how the silence was slowly driving him crazy, he needed some company. He couldn't have asked for a better companion than the one he has here with him right now. "Are...you hungry?" He asks, while he enters his spacious marbled kitchen.
"No." Courtney simply replies while playing with his shirt until he places her to sit on the island.
"Ok, well I am." Justin chuckles, moving away from her to swing the refrigerator door open.
"Daddy?"
Tensing when she calls him that, he tries to put on a pleasant face, but fails miserably. "Courtney, I won't scream at you, but, please don't..."
"You wove mommy?" Courtney cuts him off completely ignoring his request.
Glaring at her wide-eyed, Justin pulls out some left over pizza before he slams the door shut. Placing two slices in the microwave to heat up, he finally stares at his daughter fully intrigued. "What do you know about love?" he inquires while arching a brow in amazement.
"I wove you and mommy. So, mommy wove you and you wove her." Courtney smiles, causing Justin to laugh heartily.
"You're just a regular little philosopher huh?" He jokes, walking over to push some of her tendrils out of her face. Giggling and blowing out spit bubbles, Courtney bounces slightly on top of the island as her legs swing over the edge.
As his mind begins to drift, Justin's smile slowly fades when he remembers the day that Diane told him she was pregnant with Courtney. Startling when the microwave beeps, he completely ignores it as he continues to stare at the petite three year old who's watching him so contently.
Dear god, what would Courtney think of him if she knew what he...what her own father did to her mother because he...he didn't want her? Because he thought...he was going to have a replay of his past? She'd hate him. He knew she would. He couldn't deal with that.
Feeling his breathing deepen, Justin's head drops immediately as he blinks back his tears while muttering obscenities under his breath.
"Daddy what wrong?" Courtney's voice cuts through his memories eliciting a slight whimper from him as he rests against the counter adjacent to the island. "Daddy? No cwry...mommy wove you."
"Jesus..." Justin mutters, bringing his palms up to his face as he heaves slightly.
"Daddy?!" Courtney shrieks in a shaky tone, causing Justin to snap his head up at her. Rushing over when he sees that she's trying to get off the island, he swiftly picks her up in his strong arms.
Watching her in silence, he sniffles tremendously as a few tears roll down his cheeks. "God...I...I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry Court." He chokes out while gasping for air before he hugs her against this firm chest. "I didn't mean to..." He sobs, cradling her body against his own.
"No cwry daddy." She whispers, hugging him the best way she can with her tiny hands. "You be good now." She says in her small baby voice.
"Oh god..." Justin hiccups, latching unto her for dear life. "I...I...shit..." his voice fades out into a cough. "Mommy doesn't love me. No...no one does because I'm a monster." He says in a grainy whisper.
"No cwry, I wove you daddy. You good now." Courtney coos and since he's too worked up to even find his voice to reply, Justin just remains silent, feeling his heart pounding fiercely inside of his ribcage as he keeps his death grip on his daughter, praying that she'll feel the same way when she grows up and she's old enough to understand exactly what he is...what he's become.
****
Hours later...
JC's Estate...
Saturday Night...
"So this is a nice surprise." I smile warmly at JC as I absorb his surroundings. His mansion isn't any different from Justin's own really. It's just decorated to his liking. I have to admit, I feel more at home here than I do at Justin's. I guess that's a really bad thing.
"I'm glad you like it. So how's the food?" JC enquires while grinning from across his vanished ebony dining table.
Looking down at the pasta, greens, baked chicken and potato salad he prepared, I can't help but gush over it all. He actually surprised me with dinner here at his home. How sweet is that? God, I'm loving all of this a little too much right now. Plus, he even added the candle lighting and everything! "It's...amazing." I sigh, taking a forkful of pasta into my mouth.
"Good. I'm glad." He smiles. "Only the best for you." He states, while taking a sip of his red wine.
Swallowing my food contents and taking a sip of my drink, I wipe at my mouth lightly before I respond. "Yeah well, you didn't have to do all of this. I mean, this is the first time any of Justin's clients have..." Cutting me off with a groan, JC shifts in his seat before he stretches over to grip my hands in his.
"Diane. I'd really like it if you didn't think of me as only Justin's client. He and I, we have some history that's allowed us to bond. But, I'm far from being any of his regular clients. Besides, I'd like to think me and you were friends first." He smiles sweetly and I just frown.
"I've been meaning to ask you about that." I imply.
"About what?" JC furrows his brows at me in confusion, stroking the back of my hands with his fingertips.
"What kind of history do you two have that makes Justin drop his defenses for you so easily?" I frown when JC's body goes rigid by my inquiry and my eyes widen when I see a flash of anger in his orbs.
Resting back in his seat, JC simply looks away from me, taking another sip of his wine in silence. Keeping my eyes on him, I continue to eat my meal, not wanting to upset him any further. "We uh...we used to be involved in some stuff that...well..." Trailing off, his dark blues latch unto my brown as his brow knits in confusion.
"Look Diane. The simplified version of our history is we met when we were both taking part in a business venture. The deal went sour and one thing led to another. Justin supposedly wanted some type of revenge on the bastards I was dealing with at the time so he came to me for some help. Obviously, I only agreed if the price was right and for him it was. He was adamant on taking them out, so, I helped him to do it. Needless to say, their boss wasn't pleased with our double-crossing so he tried to kills us. Things didn't go too well on their boss' part since Justin and I managed to escape with our lives. I think after that close encounter both Justin and I decided to give up that lifestyle. I will tell you this: Justin was just as fucked up then as he is now. Look, I know you're wondering if I have anything to do with it but I don't. Justin was like this when I met him. In fact, he was worse. Just, please don't ask me any questions because this is the only one I'm willing to answer..." JC divulges before taking in a deep breath.
And I'm rendered speechless.
What the hell? This story doesn't make any type of sense. What were they into? It sounds like some drug thing. God, I hope not. Even after years of being out of that game, your enemies always have a way of finding you to finish what they've started. Shaking my head sadly, I cast my vision to my plate of food. I don't even know what to think anymore.
I can't get the picture of Justin's broken form out of my mind when I left him earlier today. It all hurt so badly and...
"Listen Diane. I know you're not happy with him." JC states in a softer tone. "I can see it in your eyes. I know you're probably wishing for ways out of this life but you maybe feel trapped or something..."
That certainly catches my attention. Snapping my head up, I glare at JC who holds a sly grin on his face.
Remaining silent, I listen to him as he continues to speak. "I don't care to even know how you've gotten into Justin's clutches. All I'm saying is, you've made quite the name for yourself and you are very popular. You're one of the most sought after erotic entertainers out there and I'm sure you know that. You're Justin's main asset Diane, so, I can understand why he wants to hold unto you but do you really want this?" Leaning forward awaiting my answer, JC kisses the top of my hand gently before he places it to rest on the table.
"N...no..." I sigh pitifully, avoiding eye contact with him.
"That's what I thought. And, with that little girl you have..." His tone suddenly hardens as he seems to be deep in thought. "She doesn't deserve this either. Just, give me the word..."
"What?" I cut him off with a shocked expression on my face.
Darting his tongue out to lick his lips, JC pushes back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. "Give me the word and I'll take you out of here." He says in a serious tone.
"Are...are you for real?" I ask incredulously, shifting uncomfortably in my seat.
"Yeah well...I own a chain of nightclubs in Europe. I'd like to think I've made a name for myself. I'm offering you a different life and job up there if you'll take it. I'm going to head back to Europe in a few weeks once I get Justin on his feet with the nightclub that he has under development. That's the only reason why I'm here..." There's a glimmer in his eyes as they darken immensely by the mention of Justin that I can't quite identify but god, I can feel my pulse increasing in speed.
This is...this is what I've been longing for, for almost a decade now. Now that it's right in front of me, I'm not sure what to say. My mind is screaming for me to say yes and to take his offer, but, I don't even know anything about him. And, now that Justin seems to be really trying to get better can I really leave him like this? God, why is this so confusing? I...I can't take Courtney away from her father.
"Diane..." JC sighs with annoyance in his voice. "If you're worried about your kid, you can simply come with me first and get settled in. Once you're established, we can go back for her. I'm sure if I offer Justin enough money he won't even care." JC spits out and I hate to say it, but, he might just be right about that. I mean, Justin doesn't need me around does he? God, what am I thinking? I can't leave my baby and I don't even know JC like that.
"Look, JC that's nice and all but I uh, I need some time to think about this. I don't even know..."
"Fine. Just take your time and let me know. I'll request you some time again so we can go into further detail. Any questions you may have about this, I'll be glad to supply with an answer so you can know as much as you need to know to feel comfortable about trusting me. But, I don't suggest you tell Justin anything just yet because..."
"Oh I know." I cut him off with a smile. "It's...it's fine." I assure him and he nods.
"Ok then. Well, eat up huh? I need to get you back home soon." He explains.
"I really appreciate this JC. More than you know."
"I'd do it for any other friend Diane. You're an amazing woman and you only deserve the best." Giving me a cheeky grin, JC jumps slightly when his cell goes off. Clutching his chest and chuckling lightly, he excuses himself as he grips the phone from his pocket to answer it.
Tuning out JC's conversation, I concentrate on my plate of food suddenly losing my appetite. I know JC means well and I really do like him a lot but, I...I can't...god I don't even know what I'm thinking.
I can't leave Justin or Courtney. Justin needs me. They both need me. I mean, if Justin will make an effort to not take his temper out on me then I'm willing to help him tame his demons. I just need to know that he's really serious about this. I hate to say it, but, even after everything he's done to me I still love him. Love makes people stupid and causes them to do some really dumb things. I'd say I'm way past that to the point of being insane, but, I know now why I'm still here. I know why I still care. I love him. I'm in love with him. I've never ever told him this for fear of how he would react.
Justin is not the type of person that shows any form of love whatsoever. I even thought at one point that his heart was so cold and hard that he didn't even know what genuine love was. Unfortunately, I'm starting to think otherwise. I think he knows exactly what love is and he's afraid of it. I wish I knew what was going on with him. I desperately want him to tell me.
Before, I would have wanted to know to use it against him, but, now I need to know to be able to help him...
Whipping my head up when I hear JC yelling, I drop my fork and gulp down my glass of wine as he stands on his feet, kicking his chair back in rage. Wow...
His face is turning a bright shade of red as he clutches unto his cell phone tightly. "I fucking know that Grant! Would you just give me a little more time and I'll..." Drifting off, he rolls his eyes in irritation before he passes his hands through his dark locks in frustration. "Look, I have something I'm working on right now so don't worry. I'll compensate you the best way I can..." Darting his eyes over to me, JC gives me an apologetic stare and I just shrug for him with a light smile. "Can I call you back? I have company right now and...shit Grant. Cut me some slack. I wasn't the one who told you to invest your fucking money in that stupid club you asshole! I'll work on the fucking deal! I'll work on it goddamn it. It's already underway. Let...let me call you back..." JC rambles out before he shuts the phone and switches it off in the process.
Dropping it on the table, he passes his palms over his face before he glances at me. "Shit..." He mumbles, walking over to me. "I...I'm sorry you had to hear that Diane." He apologizes as I stand to face him.
"No...no it's cool." I explain wondering who the hell Grant is. Well, whatever. All of Justin's clients and friends are weird and mysterious anyway. JC is no different.
"Listen, I had a lot of fun today. I'm glad you enjoyed our lunch date at the restaurant I brought you to and even if dinner wasn't the best..."
"No...I loved it JC, all of it." I grin widely.
"Good." He breathes out a sigh of relief before he closes the gap between us. Looking down at me, he lifts his hand and slicks it through my long hair. "Maybe I should bring you back now." He whispers and I nod my head rapidly without budging. God, the look in his eyes they're...so dark. It's a little unnerving. Breathing deeply, JC cups my cheeks with his palms, searching my eyes for a brief moment before he slowly leans down.
Gasping, my eyes widen when he stops his decent as he blinks slowly. I can feel his breath against my face and his lips are mere millimeters away from mine. "We can't do this." he mutters and I'm wondering what he's even talking about. Of course we can! He paid for me didn't he?
"I know..." I whisper back before I take the initiative to lean up until our lips connect. Instinctively pulling me into his embrace, JC instantly deepens the kiss as our tongues battle in a heated dance. Wait, why do I feel guilty about this like I'm cheating on Justin or something? I mean I'm not; but still, I can't get over how disoriented he seems to always be whenever the topic of JC and me arises.
Moaning into the kiss when JC's hands begin to roam, I grip unto his blue shirt tightly to pull him in closer. The moment I do that, he freezes under my touch. Fluttering my eyes open in confusion, I stumble forward when he suddenly rips away from me, taking a few steps back.
"Oh no...no." He protests. "I...no, mixing business with pleasure is bad. That's what got Justin into trouble in the first place. You never get involved Diane...never. I...I can't have any feelings for you." Looking away from me, JC moves over to his table to grab his car keys.
And I'm still just standing there in bewilderment feeling slightly embarrassed since he just rejected me. "But, I mean it's ok. You requested me right?" I ask.
"Yes, but, I didn't want it to be like this. Clients aren't supposed to have any attachments. Frankly, I'm not set on breaking that rule." He spits harshly and I cringe by the firmness in his tone. "I'm sorry Diane. But, just let me bring you home. We have one more day tomorrow right? We'll make the best of it then."
Walking up to me, JC kisses me on my cheek and I let out a sigh. I should be happy that he respects me like this but damn it, it's not fair. Now when I actually want this to go further, he just had to be all decent and shit about it. Ugh! Well, whatever I guess. I'll just head home to take a well deserved sleep.
"Fine." I cave as he ushers me to his front door, swinging it open.
"Trust me when I say, it's for the best."
I'm not sure what to make by his tone of voice and the finality in his statement. Should I be reading more into it than necessary? I can't be sure.
Dismissing this entire awkward situation, I allow JC to escort me to his Escalade parked out in his driveway. Taking in the bright moon in the dark sky, I can't help but feel a little happy that I'm heading home to see Justin. I shouldn't be with how he's so ruthless most times but hey, when I left he was far from his deranged self. I actually kind of, sort of miss him. I hope he's still the same and hasn't switched back by the time I get home...I really hope he hasn't.
****
Justin's Estate...
Late Saturday Night...
Waving goodbye to JC from the doorway, he honks his horn before he pulls out of his parking spot heading down Justin's driveway. Remaining in place, I watch as the bright lights of his vehicle disappear out the gates and around the corner of the compound.
When he's fully out of sight, I exhale deeply feeling slightly ebullient with how great our day went. Well, despite the ending when there was a little tension in the air, it was great. We roamed around Las Vegas and had lunch at this cute little restaurant. It was really sweet.
But, enough reminiscing. I have other things to deal with right now. Like walking through the threshold unnoticed. If I can just sneak up to my room then...
Closing the front door gently, I lock it and turn on the alarm system before I begin my journey towards the staircase, dropping my purse on a nearby table in the process. Unfortunately for me, I stop mid-step when I hear the TV blaring in the living room. Now usually, I'd not think anything of it. But, when I make out the voices of the characters on television to be none other than Spongebob and Patrick singing about jelly-fishing, I know something is wrong.
Feeling my heartbeat quicken, I make a detour and practically dash into the living room like a maniac. Stopping dead in my tracks, I blink a few times to make sure my vision is cleared and I'm not hallucinating.
Slapping my palms over my mouth, I gasp in astonishment at the sight in front of me. I don't know if I should scream, cry, leave or stay.
I think I'll pick two out of four. Feeling my tears rapidly building and threatening to break through the surface, I silently tiptoe toward the pair on the leather couch.
Finally standing in front of them, I look down in awe as a few single tears roll down my cheeks. Wiping them away, I sniffle lightly still in wonderment feeling slightly perplexed.
God, they look so adorable...so precious.
The way he's holding our baby so protectively against his broad chest with his hands draped across her little back is so breathtaking. They're sound asleep too.
Justin is snoring lightly with his head back on the arm rest of the couch. He's lying on his back and Courtney is sprawled out over his chest on her stomach.
Not wanting to even wake them up, I cautiously take the remote from Justin's hanging hand and switch off the television.
Tensing when he shifts, I remain frozen in place as he groans before his eyes slowly flutter open.
Darting his eyes around the spacious room, Justin's tired orbs finally land on me. "Di?" he whispers groggily before he yawns and shifts under Courtney.
Still too shaken up to even say anything, I rush over to him to help him with Courtney. "Here let me take her." I choke out, fighting back my tears. Moaning lightly as he seats up, Justin rubs at his chest before he eyes me interestingly.
Gently pulling her into my arms, I turn to leave. "I'll be right back..." I ramble out to him rushing out of the living room with Courtney.
Sprinting up the stairs, I kick my room door open with my baby in my arms. Pulling back the red patterned comforter, I place her to lie down then kiss her forehead as she squirms until she gets a comfortable position and her breathing evens out.
Giving her one last glance, I exit my room, shutting the door gently behind me.
Finally making it back into the living room, I notice Justin is stretching out his limbs as he stands. Looking at me with droopy eyes, he smiles lightly before ambling over to me. "So how was it?" he inquires smoothly.
"It...was fun." I give him a tight smile before I turn to head into the kitchen. Looking through his cabinets, I pull out a bottle of scotch and a glass.
Entering the kitchen a few seconds later, Justin smirks when he sees what I'm doing. "Care to share with me why you're going to drink?"
Turning to face him, I shrug before I open the freezer for some ice. Dumping a few cubes into the glass, I quickly pour out the poisonous substance. Before I can bring the glass to my lips, Justin easily rushes forward and yanks it out of my grasp.
"What the hell is wrong with you Di?" He's looking at me in curiosity but I can't even tell him. I can't tell him I'm considering leaving him. I think I'll take it harder than he does anyway.
"I just have a lot of stuff on my mind."
That causes Justin to raise a brow. "Oh?" Placing my glass down on the counter, he rubs his hands together before he connects his blues to my browns. "Drinking doesn't solve your problems. Trust me on that one." He says bitterly.
"No shit." Then something dawns on me. "Where is Rachel Justin?"
"Uh, I sent her home." He gives me a sheepish grin and I just roll my eyes.
"She pissed you off?" I ask knowingly.
"Well, not really. Well, yeah kind of. I just thought since you were asking for Courtney to stay over I might as well..."
"Where are the other girls? In here is so quiet." I inquire again, realizing the background is lacking their familiar giggling and chattering.
"I sent them out for the night. I just wanted some alone time I guess. They should be back soon. Uh, Courtney was good company though." He admits nervously and do I even want to know? I'm just happy he can stand her around him, so, I'm not about to ask to piss him off. Whatever clicked in his brain to spend time with his daughter is a good thing. I just need to keep an eye on him to make sure he doesn't take out any of his anger on her because you can bet love, jail, everything be damned. I will not hesitate to stab him. I'm just saying.
"Hmm...ok." I relent while picking up my discarded glass, but, Justin takes it away from me again before he closes the tiny gap between us.
Emptying the contents into the sink next to us, he presses his body against mine looking down at me with wide eyes. "I...if...I...I t-tell yo-you something...promise you wo-won't rub it in." He stutters terribly and...awww he's being cute again.
"Ok, I promise." I smile widely.
Taking in a deep unstable breath, he encircles his arms around my waist before he rests his forehead against mine. Gazing into his eyes, I can see a mixture of emotions swimming through those crystal blues as he stares at me. "Well..." Swallowing hard, he breaks eye contact briefly before he mutters something under his breath.
"I'm sorry what?" I ask as a small smile twitches into the corners of my mouth.
"I said I missed you." He exhales loudly, almost like that was the hardest thing he's ever had to say. "And...Courtney missed you too. She kept asking me for you." He divulges and I can't help but grin like an idiot. "And look, I know you like JC and yeah, I hate that, but, only because I know that you have no idea who you're dealing with. Even if you don't trust me, just trust me on this and don't believe everything he tells you or the good guy act he's putting on. It's just a façade. Trust me when I say he can get just as bad as me if not worse." Justin explains and by the look on his face, I know he's being serious. He isn't just saying that to make JC look bad. He knows something he's not telling me and I honestly don't think he has any intention of sharing that information.
"O...Ok." I reply, knowing that maybe part of what he's saying might be true. I mean, I did see JC have a little temper when he was on the phone with that Grant guy. "Who's Grant Justin?" I inquire.
Giving me an annoyed stare, he just shrugs. "Just some guy..." He breathes against my skin. I can feel myself getting flushed just by his close proximity.
"But, I heard JC on the phone with him and..."
"He's just a fucking guy Diane. Don't worry yourself about it." Justin instantly gets defensive and I shut my mouth when I see the anger flash in his orbs. Shit, I really need to be careful with pissing him off. Groaning loudly, he digs his fingers into my sides before he shifts his head to the side. "I'm...shit...I'm sorry. I'm still trying to control my impulses." He apologizes.
Nodding my head, I don't say anything else. He's surprising me with how hard he seems to be trying now. And, he seems to be getting the apology thing down; plus, he seems to mean it so that's good I guess. I'm a little scared at how he can just snap so easily though. That's a very dangerous thing for anyone who may upset him in any way. He's the type of person who acts first and thinks after.
"Goddamn it Diane..." Shifting his weight until he's pressed completely against me, Justin kisses the side of my neck lightly and I shut my eyes instantly at how soft his lips are against my skin. God it's not fair that he can ignite the fire in my system like a damn furnace with just a simple touch. It's not fair at all!
I gasp slightly when Justin applies pressure to his kisses until he creates suction on my neck. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I pull him in as he works his way around to my chin until he finds my lips. Inhaling sharply, I relax against him as he pecks me delicately at first before he deepens the kiss. Moaning into the kiss, I lift one of my legs and wrap it around his waist subconsciously. My thigh accidentally grazes over his growing erection causing him to hiss before he grabs my hips tightly. Damn, kissing JC didn't feel like this at all! I feel all tingly inside and shit. Ugh!
Justin has the power to scramble all my brain processes when he touches me like that. That's certainly another dangerous factor about him. I can feel my heart breaking and I don't even know why. I guess I can't help but wonder what life would be like with him if he wasn't this fucked up in the cabeza...
He'd probably be an amazing lover and father. I wish we could get to that one day. God, I wish he would just end all of this and retire or something even if he's still so damn young.
Sucking in air through my teeth when Justin cups my breasts in his palms, I forcefully pull away from our lip-lock to stare at him.
He's just eyeing me with a pensive expression on his face. Dropping his hands to my sides, he snakes them up and down in a balmy manner causing me to shudder involuntarily. I don't think I'll ever get used to his gentle side. It's just not conducive to his normal aggressive behavior. Still, I could try to get used to it if it will last.
Leaning in to kiss me again, Justin's actions come to a screeching halt when the front door swings open and we're met by endless talking and laughter.
Letting out a low throaty growl, he sighs loudly before he pulls away from me. "The girls are home." He states the obvious and I nod feeling slightly disappointed that we were interrupted. I guess it's for the best. I need to clear my mind out anyway. Maybe I can turn in early tonight.
"I uh..." Wriggling against him since he's pressing his weight into me he gives me a faint smile before he moves away.
"Sorry about that." Rubbing the back of his neck, Justin diverts his attention to the entrance of the kitchen when we hear the voices coming closer.
"I'm just...going to check on Courtney and turn in for the night." I suggest, pushing my body off the counter. My knees feel slightly weak and my heart is still beating rigorously but I think I can ignore all that.
I'm more interested in knowing why Justin has such a solemn expression on his face. Something is troubling him. I can tell. He must have a ton of things on his mind. He seems kind of spaced too.
"You do that...you...you do that." He states haphazardly before he grabs his bottle of scotch and pours himself a glass. He easily downs the strong substance in one gulp. His face immediately contorts as he coughs to clear his throat. Staring at his hand, I watch how it trembles slightly when he places the glass down with a thud.
Before I can get another word in, Eve and Bethany suddenly come into view with a few shopping bags in hand.
"Oh! I didn't know anyone was here. It's so quiet." Bethany smiles, while eyeing the both of us suspiciously.
That's my cue to leave.
"Uh well I just got back not too long ago. I'm just going to check on Courtney and head to bed." I admit while trying to move around them before Bethany's next statement stops my movements.
"She's staying over? This is new. Justin's growing a soft spot huh?" She muses but Justin doesn't find it funny. In fact I think he's offended by her remark.
Shooting her a scathing look, he clenches his fists together tightly, causing the veins in his arms to pop out. "Bethany, why don't you just shut the fuck up and mind your fucking business. Don't you have some shit to put away?" Justin snaps in a condescending manner as he gesturers to the shopping bags in her hand.
"I...yes I guess." Bowing her head, Bethany instantly excuses her self before she turns on her heels and sprints out of the kitchen.
Well shit, that was...pretty cool.
Clearing her throat loudly, Eve excuses herself as well leaving us alone again. I can hear the other girls moving around the house and I can't help but giggle lightly.
Darting his eyes over to me, Justin simply jeers softly with a shake of his head before he moves to take a seat at his island. "Just go Diane. I need to make a few calls. I have some shit I need to deal with." He explains while whipping out his cell phone and I frown.
"Justin what..." but I swallow the rest of my words when he shoots me a warning glare. Well, I guess his pleasant mood is gone. I'm not sticking around to find out. Slumping, I shake my head in understanding. "Ok, night Justin." I sigh as I begin my journey out of the kitchen to leave him alone for the rest of the night.
"Night Di..." he finally whispers out and I smile to myself without turning around to look at him. Instead, I simply exit the kitchen quietly so I can make my way up the stairs to my room to check on our baby and turn in for the night.
I think I'll try talking to Justin at some point in time to find out what's wrong with him. Hopefully, I'll catch him in a good mood where he's willing to share.
Yeah, all I need is a little bit of faith, hope and maybe what he needs is a little bit of love.
Maybe?
I...I think I can pull that off.
I...we'll work it out.
We have to...