Summary: She’s his heart, his soul, his life, his air….his entire world. Without her, he’s only half a man. Without him, her world would crumble. So what happens when she does the unimaginable and Justin is left with more questions than answers? How will he survive without her? How will he forgive her?
Join Cassandra and Justin on this short, yet epic love tale filled with drama and romance as they find their way back to each other.
*Inspired by the song “Lost Without You” by Robin Thicke*
Contains: Angst, Drama, Romance
~
Beams of sunlight peeked through the stained glass window forming an array of patterns upon the blue bed-spread. Underneath the sheets laid a very disturbed individual, who spent the last three hours tossing and turning from lack of sleep. It was a never-ending nightmare. Every morning, he woke up to that same vacant spot on the left side of the bed, without any explanation as to why she left. His nickname for her was Cassy, short for Cassandra Jamerson. She was also known as C.J by her close friends. Standing at 5’8″, she was a voluptuous, statuesque woman with thick black locks, cascading down her back. Her eyes were hazel brown in color and he usually got lost in their depths of mystery. She was caramel brown in complexion with the sexiest and sweetest lips he ever tasted. Yes, she was his dream girl, but now, she was gone and he felt lost.
These days it’s hard to find
Someone to love
Once you find them
You don’t want to give up
A month went by without so much as a phone call or a letter to know that she was alive and ok. Slightly grunting, he pushed the covers off his body and sat up gazing out of his window at the rising sun. It was mornings like this he despised. They were full of wonders and possibilities just waiting to be discovered. Nature was at work, neutering her children and giving them life; From the brisling of the trees in the wind, to the silent chirping of nearby birds, life was a gift and never to be taken for granted.
Unfortunately, without her, his life meant nothing to him anymore. It’s been three weeks too many since he sank into this irreversible depression filled with despair. He refused to attend studio sessions, conferences, meetings, parties and events all because he couldn’t come out of his rut. In fact, he didn’t really want to in the first place. His family and friends were worried sick. His mother kept calling, but he shut her and everyone else out.
He did nothing most of the day except laze around his home finding anything and everything that reminded him of her. Yes, he was addicted to her, to her sent, her walk, her talk, her laugh, her smile, her body, her mind and the list could go on forever.
And now I know that we’re
Both alone in this
It’s just me and you
Against the world
And there’s me
And there’s you
It’s just me and you
Against the world
Pondering on what cereal he should devourer for breakfast, he got out of bed and headed straight to the bathroom clad in only Calvin Klein boxers. He gazed at his reflection in the mirror noticing the horrid creature he became. He scratched at the stubble on his face from lack of shaving, letting out an exasperated sigh. There were bags under his eyes and his skin looked pale and flaky. He didn’t have his hair cut since she left, so it began growing out.
After splashing some warm water on his face, a shining object caught Justin’s eyes. He picked up the item from its spot on the right side of the sink. It was a solid 18k gold chain with diamond encrusted trimmings and a heart pendant with their initials “J.T & C.J Forever” on it. He stared at it on the verge of tears as he replayed what seemed to be the worse experience of his life, in his mind.
………..Flashback…………
July 2008
Five weeks ago…
I’m lost without you
Can’t help myself
How does it feel?
To know that I love you baby
2.45 am
It was like any other Saturday night. Justin would come home from the studio late, feeling exhausted, and Cassy would be waiting patiently for him on the living room couch ready to pounce at his arrival. Somehow, this night was different.
Justin silently unlocked his front door and stepped inside the very spacious house. Something was missing. The atmosphere was too tranquil. Why couldn’t he hear her loud shriek of excitement when he arrived? Why wasn’t anyone jumping on him and straddling his waist? Where the hell was Cassy?
“Cassy? Baby? You home?” Justin beckoned for her as he placed his keys on the coffee table in the living room. He pealed off his white t-shit tossing it on a nearby sofa remaining in just his black vest. When he didn’t receive a response, he shrugged and went to the refrigerator pulling out a beer. He popped it open and took three huge gulps before proceeding upstairs to the bedroom they shared. He figured she must have gotten tired of waiting and went to sleep.
With a smile on his face, he cautiously pushed the door open, sticking his head in, expecting to see her sleeping form. Noticing the bed was still made with no one in it, his face contorted in fear. “What the…Cassy? Are you in here baby?”
Justin stepped into the room and flipped on the light switch. He placed his beer on the nightstand and went out to the balcony and then the bathroom in search of his girlfriend. She was no where in sight. Panic began to surge through his body as he grabbed his cell phone out of his back pocket. He had her on speed dial; but before he could press number 2 to call her, he heard a rather loud grunt, followed by a chuckle and giggling downstairs. “What the fuck was that?” He thought out loud.
Abandoning his previous plan, Justin slowly made his way to the top of the stairs staring down at the entrance to his house. The sight nearly made him throw up in pure anger and utter disgust.
And, what am I supposed to do
The alarms are going off in my head
And it’s dangerous
Yes it’s complicated
There was his girlfriend, the woman he loved with all his heart, in the arms of some strange man, stumbling into his house drunk out of her mind. The guy was about 5’11, and dark in complexion. Cassy’s outfit didn’t help the situation much either. She had on a short red dress that was way too short and way too tight for her. She shouldn’t have been wearing that. It was too revealing. Her breasts were perfectly defined in the dress and Justin could see the shape of her nipples through the fabric from where he was standing. Obviously, she wore no bra. He narrowed his eyes at the pair.
What was going on? This wasn’t his girlfriend at all. By now, Justin’s temper was flaring as he watched the two talk and laugh with each other completely oblivious to his presence. Clenching his fist and gritting his teeth he ambled down the stairs towards them. His tone was sharp and loud and echoed throughout the silent house. “What the fuck is this? What’s going on here?”
Cassy jumped at the sound of Justin’s voice. She leisurely looked up at him with dilated, blood shot eyes and a sheepish grin on her face. “Justy! You’re home! Hey….” She trailed off as she tripped over her heels, crashing into the stranger’s embrace. He chuckled with her half heartedly, and it became clear to Justin that they were both intoxicated. Justin stared at his girlfriend with more shock than any thing else. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. There was just no way this was happening in his eyes. He stood there in a bit of a daze, as Cassy tried to stable herself, still giggling. He loved her too much. She loved him too much. This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be, because if it was, someone was going to die tonight, and Justin knew that this strange guy would be candidate number 1.
Tell me how u love me more
And how you think I’m sexy baby
That you don’t want nobody else
You don’t want this guy you don’t want that guy you wanna
Justin glared at the man with heated eyes. He was touching his girlfriend way too much. Justin could feel himself losing control and became maniacally obsessed with jealousy and rage. Stepping forward, he grabbed Cassy’s arm and yanked her towards him. She gazed at him haphazardly clearly not in the right frame of mind. “Cassy, where the fuck were you?” Justin glared at her awaiting a response. “And who the fuck is this pussy-ass bastard?” He pointed to the man standing a few feet away from them.
The guy’s head shot up at Justin’s offensive comment. “Hey man, chill out. I was just bringing her home from the club.” He stated.
Justin glared at him ready to leap. ‘Chill out? Was that fucker on crack or something? He had to be if he said that. There was no way he was serious…Impossible.’ “Listen you piece of shit; Take your fucking ass out of my house right now before I kick you out literally!” Justin was seething. His face was red, his skin was hot and his mind was doing back flips.
“Hey, take it easy, she’s fine. Had a little too much to drink but she’s home safe and sound.” The guy smirked, swaying a bit. “If you ask me…a fine girl like herself deserves to have some fun sometimes. I mean, she seemed so depressed at the bar when I met her you know? Talking about how her boyfriend was never home and she missed him so much…..” The guy trailed off when he saw Justin approach him. In fact, they were mere inches away from each other and by the look of things Justin was getting ready to swing.
“You must be a real psycho bastard or maybe you just have a death wish. Where the hell do you get off talking to me like that in my own house? Are you mental or something? To have the audacity to stand there and let those words drop from you mouth is definitely a suicide attempt. You know nothing about her or me so get the FUCK OUT NOW!” Justin was surprised at how calm he was. He was everything except calm on the inside, but Cassy was his main concern now. She looked like she was going to pass out soon on that couch.
“Look Timberlake, nothing happened with me and your little girl toy ok? She said she came in with a friend, but her friend ditched her for some guy. That’s when I met her at the bar. She looked fucked up and lost so I decided to talk to her. That’s all we did…TALK! I guess we got carried away and had too many drinks…next thing you know, I’m dropping her home because she’s stranded and you come thumping down the stairs like you’re god almighty. Maybe if you were home more, your little toy here wouldn’t go off looking for the quickest thrill ride she could find. Look at her man…we spent most of the night talking about YOUR SORRY ASS…the girl is nuts about you and you put your career before her…” Justin couldn’t take this anymore…who did this guy think he was? He was so stunned that his mouth gaped open at the words that flew his way. Oh that bastard was going to fucking die. There was no way…absolutely no way that guy would walk out of this house untouched. “If you asked me I’d say you don’t deserve her. She can do a lot better than you. Hell, I’d take her off your hands and make sure I FUCKED HER regularly for your sorry ass…”
That was all it took for Justin to lose it. Without a second thought, he swung his fist with all his built up rage and watched as the guy went flying across the floor with a loud thud. “You fuckin’, sick twisted son of a bitch!” Justin yelled, and pounced on top of the man hitting him continuously.
“Justin!!!!!!! Justin!!!!!!! What are you doing! stop it!” Cassy cried in fear. She watched as Justin kept swinging, hitting any and every where he could find on the guy’s body. “Justin please!!! Please stop….stop…oh god…you’re killing him!” Cassy rushed over to him in her drunken daze, only to be pushed to the side.
“That’s the idea! That asshole should die! Fuckin’ cunt…bitch ass…pussy! How dare you come into MY HOME…and talk to me that way about my girl!!” Justin gripped the man by his collar and pulled him up instantly punching him in the nose. The guy groaned in pain, and swung his fist watching as it collided with Justin’s jaw.
Before Cassy could gather her bearings, she saw Justin sailing backwards into a nearby sofa as the man rushed up to him. “Oh god…Justin? Blake stop it! You’re hurting him…stop it!” Cassy stood up and ran towards Blake leaping unto his back as he was about to lay another punch on Justin.
“Get off me Cassandra! Someone needs to teach your cocky boyfriend a lesson!” He snapped and jacked her off sending her crashing into the coffee table. She knocked her head and her arm, crying out in pain as she landed on the floor.
Man, if Justin wasn’t riled up before, he was blazing hot like the sun now. The crazed homicidal look he had threw Blake off for a split second too long, because before he knew what was going on, Justin was off the floor and punching him in his face and stomach. “You muthafucka! You hurt her…you fuckin’ asshole…I’m going to kill your ass!” Justin kept kicking Blake on his side when he fell. He picked him up by his neck and rammed him up against the wall. He pulled him forward and rammed again forcefully, causing Blake to hit his head in the process. Blake groaned in pain trying to stay focused, because he was on the verge of passing out.
We’re the only ones who get it
The only ones that want this
The only ones who believe
In love
Justin watched him with that crazed look on his face as he dragged Blake by his both arms, towards the entrance of the house. He flew the door open and walked out towards Blake’s red Porsche. Stopping at the driver’s side, he dropped him on the ground and towered over him. “Get your ass the fuck off my properly now before I call the cops, and stay away from my girl. And I mean it; if you come near her, the next time I will not hesitate to kill. Don’t fucking test me! Do you hear me?” Justin pointed his finger at Blake in warning. By now, Blake was terrified that he was actually going to be seriously hurt. Justin looked like a mental-case on drugs! “I asked, did you hear me!?”
Blake choked out a quick yes and struggled to get off the ground, moaning and groaning in pain from the injuries Justin inflicted. He climbed into his seat on the driver’s side, wiping at his bloody nose, before quickly starting the car and speeding out of the driveway. Justin watched him drive off until the car was out of sight. He turned his attention to the house remembering Cassy and jogged back inside.
Upon stepping inside, he locked the door and looked over at Cassy realizing she was in the same spot they left her, crying hysterically. He was so mad at her; he didn’t know what to do or how to react. He could see she was hurt because she kept clutching her arm. Throwing his anger aside, he knelt down beside her eyeing her intently. “Hey…” He touched the side of her face gently. “You ok? Where did you get hurt?” He subconsciously morphed into ‘concerned boyfriend’ mode, dismissing the incident that happened moments earlier. He scanned her body for any sign of bruising but found none.
It’s just the two of us
Getting into love
It takes two of us
To change the world
I’ve got you
You’ve got me
It’s just me and you
Against the world
Girl, you got me so crazy in longing
And I know it’s wrong but so right
She gazed into his crystal blue orbs getting lost in them. “I’m ok; I just bumped my head and my arm. I’ll be fine.” She choked out.
“Um…ok, let’s get you up to bed shall we?” Justin scratched his chin in thought as he helped her off the floor.
She held her head down feeling ashamed at what she put him through. All of this was her fault. If she didn’t miss him so much and felt so bored and lonely in that big house, then she would have never agreed to go clubbing with her girl friend. That was just like Laura to ditch her for some guy. The girl was her best friend, but she was a gold digger as well. No one was perfect.
“I’m sorry….nothing happened….” Cassy whispered but was cut off by Justin.
“Baby I’m not mad at you…well…I was…might still be…but…I’m just glad you are safe. I trust you and I believe nothing happened. You knew I’d be home by now so you would have never brought him there if you were cheating….look….” He paused as he turned on the light switch to the bedroom. “Let’s talk about this in the morning ok?” Cassy nodded in agreement. “He was right you know….”Justin trailed off in thought.
“Huh? What?” Cassy glared at him quizzically as they entered the bedroom.
“I should be spending more time with you and not putting my career first so often. God, I love you so much…I don’t want to lose you…” He admitted, as his eyes began to sting from unshed tears.
“What! No Justin, baby….no….he couldn’t be more wrong…Oh god…my head hurts, I feel like I want to throw up.” She clutched her stomach and threw down her purse while tossing her high heels to the side, before entering the bathroom. Justin followed close behind eyeing her in the mirror. She washed off her face and unclasped her gold necklace, placing it on the side of the sink as she turned to face him.
“You’re so beautiful. Damn, how did I get so lucky?” A small smile crept on his face as his gaze traveled up and down her figure. “I can’t believe you wore that dress when I wasn’t around. And with no Bra!” He pointed out. “Hmm…” He licked his lips as he kept eyeing her shape.
Cassy cocked her head to the side, realizing what was on his mind. “Justin? You’ve got to be kidding me. How can you switch from almost killing a guy, to wanting sex?” She shook her head pathetically.
Justin shrugged in thought, pressing his body against hers, squeezing her between him and the sink. “I don’t know. Shit Cassy, I can’t stay mad at you! I love you too much. Maybe I overreacted. I don’t know…”
“No, I had no right to go like that….”
“That’s beside the point. I kinda understand why you did. It was hurting to see you in the state you were when you entered that house with a complete stranger….I mean I didn’t know what to think…”
“I know Justin but you have to understand I love you. I’d never hurt you like that…I mean damn Justy, don’t you know you’re the only guy who can make me hot, and wanna touch myself, and can make me scream his name while giving me multiple orgasms? And you’re body, shit, you’re so fucking fine baby! You don’t even know. You’re like dripping with sexuality. No one can compare to you J….and I mean that. You have my heart, my soul, now and forever. You know I’d bend over backwards for you. Don’t doubt that baby…don’t doubt what we have…I love you.” Cassy cooed as she skimmed her hand down Justin’s chest.
His eyebrows rose in astonishment. He smiled and pulled her into a tight hug skimming her back soothingly. “I love you too babygirl…you know that….shit I feel the same way too…I’d do anything for you…I’m nothing without you….” He paused for a brief moment.
And I’m holding you
I have been dreaming
And I can’t let you go
Now, you’re mine
Girl, what am I supposed to do
The alarms are going off in my head
Justin cleared his throat …”Um so…I make all those things happen to you eh?” He asked in a cocky manner.
“Yes dumb dumb…haha…just…kiss me already.” She laughed.
Justin ginned and licked his lips seductively. “Mmmhmm…with pleasure…” He muttered before crashing his lips unto hers.
Touch yourself when u see me
Tell me how u love my body
And how I make u feel baby
U wanna roll with me u wanna hold with me
U wanna stay warm and get out of the cold with me
Justin traced a pattern with his fingers along her jaw line as he sucked hungrily on her lips. Cassy moaned in pure bliss as he kept her glued to the sink with his body. Justin wrapped his arms around her waist as he pulled her into him so every inch and curve of their bodies were pressed together. Cassy felt her knees weaken under his touch. He felt so good around her it drove her insane. She kissed him deep and slow, not wanting the kiss to end. Justin kissed her back just as deep and with all his built up passion. His hands made their way down to her butt as he massaged and squeezed it, never breaking the kiss. He groaned inwardly when he felt the blood begin to rush through his hardening member. Cassy could feel herself getting extremely wet and she felt like she would explode. Their kisses began to get more intense so Justin pulled her forward, backing them into the room towards the bed. He gently laid her on her back as he hovered over her.
They savored each other’s lips once more, as Justin began to grope her. He massaged her breasts and squeezed her nipples through the dress. Cassy moaned through the kiss from pure pleasure. She broke the kiss when Justin lifted one of her legs and wrapped it around his waist. He kissed down her chin and then her neck eliciting deep moans from her. He slowly began to suck on her neck as his fingers found her center through her silk panties.
Cassy buried her head in the crook of his neck gasping for air. Justin skillfully massaged her clit with two fingers as he continued to suck on her neck vigorously. “Mmmm…Oh God Justin…shit that feels so good.” Cassy moaned.
I just love 2 hear u say it
It makes a man feel good baby
Tell me u depend on me
I need 2 hear it
“Ugh, Justin I need you now please….” Cassy pleaded. Justin obliged as Cassy helped him to remove their clothes until they were both naked. He took a moment to stare at the woman lying beneath him. She was so ‘perfect’ to him down to her very last flaw. She was his everything and vice versa. The three years they’ve been together were the best years of his life. In fact, he couldn’t picture his life without her anymore. He needed her to survive. She was his air and his life. Without her, he was nothing; but with her he was anything he wanted to be. He had every intention of marrying her and building a family with her. He just couldn’t live without her, and she couldn’t be without him either. Their love was like an addiction to narcotics. They just couldn’t get enough of each other. Yep, they were made for each other and he vowed never to let anything come in the way of their relationship.
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel?
2 know that I love u baby
Cassy gazed into Justin’s loving eyes. He just kept staring at her with lust and desire so strong it was scary. “Justy? Baby? Why are you staring at me like that? Did I gain weight or something? Do I disgust you? Or don’t you think you can handle all of this?” She teased and giggled when he stared at her incredulously.
“Shut up girl…you’re such a tease.” He smiled.
“Me? Oh no I’m not.” Cassy defended herself.
“Oh yes you are. Shit Cassy, you didn’t gain any weight…haha…you’re perfect just the way you are…..now be a good girl and spread ‘em for Justy.” Justin coaxed.
Baby you’re the perfect shape
Baby you’re the perfect weight
Treat me like my birthday
I want it this way I want it that way I want it
“I don’t know if I want that big thing in me Justin.” Cassy pointed down to Justin’s member poking at her inner thigh.
“Baby let’s not do this the hard way. Besides, you asked for it.” Justin smirked.
“Please Timber…Ahhh…shit Justin…that hurts!!” Cass wined as Justin bit hard on her neck. “Common Justy stop it…ouch!” He bit harder. As much as Cassy hated to admit it, what Justin was doing to her turned her on one hundred percent. She slowly wrapped her legs around him unaware. Justin smiled with victory as he placed the tip of his erection at her center. Cassy’s head was spinning out of control from all the heat and pleasure radiating between them. She closed her eyes the moment she felt the tip of his head enter her. “Shit…ohhh!” She moaned.
“Cassy…look at me babygirl.” Justin’s features softened when he watched the expressions on her face. “Cassy common or I’m going to stop…open your eyes.” He demanded. Cassy immediately opened them and her bright hazel brown orbs stared into his crystal blues. Justin slowly slid into her as they kept eye contact. Cassy felt like she would burst right there. He stretched her walls to the max. Nothing could describe the amount of pleasure and pain she was felling. Shit he was huge!
Justin was having a hard time controlling himself as well. His animal instincts quickly settled in the moment he entered her, and all he wanted to do was slam into her mercilessly. But he knew she deserved all the pleasure he was willing to give. He began to move in and out of her very slowly, prolonging his thrusts, and hitting all the right spots that were threatening to send her over the edge. Cassy moaned in pure bliss as Justin worked her in a way only he knew.
“Oh god Justin…mmm…damn…you feel so good.” Cassy moaned.
Justin groaned as he started to increase his pace. Sweat drenched both their bodies as Cassy arched her back trying to keep up with his rhythm. Before they knew it, both of them were out of control eliciting moans and groans of ecstasy.
“Mmm Justin…oh shit!!! Faster baby please…….Uhhh….god don’t stop….don’t ever stop…” Cassy moaned. Justin obliged and instantly sped up his pace, causing the headboard of the bed to continuously hit the wall.
Tell me u don’t want me 2 stop
Tell me it would break your heart
That u love me and all my dirty
U wanna roll with me u wanna hold with me
U wanna make fires and get Norwegian wood with me
“Oh damn babygirl…any minute now…” Justin mumbled as he continuously pumped Cassy, moving in and out of her vigorously. “Cum for me Baby…” Justin coaxed. He found her clit, and began to rub it roughly as he kept pounding into her.
“Baby I love you so much….shit…Justin…I’m going to…….” Cassy trailed off feeling her orgasm rip through the very fiber of her being.
I just love 2 hear u say it
It makes a man feel good baby
Justin gripped Cassy’s waist and flipped her over instantly reentering her from behind. He continued his task at hand, slamming into her forcefully, each thrust harder than the previous. “Oh Fuck!” She yelped in pain, but Justin didn’t slow his pace.
Justin bent down and placed a soft kiss on her back before he felt her let go. Cassy screamed when she felt her orgasm hit. Her entire body began to convulse as her walls began to constrict around Justin’s throbbing member. That sent him over the edge because her vaginal walls were practically milking him.
“Damn!!!!” Justin groaned as he spilled his load into her. “Mmmm….” He closed his eyes as he felt his entire body give way.
He slide out of her and collapsed next to her as both of them tried to control their erratic breathing. Cassy snuggled up to him sighing with content as he covered both of them with the comforter. He laid on his back and Cassy snaked her arms over his chest. He wiped away a few sweat droplets and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Damn girl…I love you so much baby…mmm…Promise you’ll never leave me. I wouldn’t be able to deal” Justin looked at her with a small, hopeful smile on his face then pouted his lips playfully.
Cassy giggled while closing her eyes. “Mmm I promise Justy. I love you; I’ll never leave you. We’ll make it you’ll see…” Cassy yawned and placed a soft kiss on Justin’s lips.
He smiled, feeling that light feeling in his stomach every time they kissed. Cassy felt the exact same thing and sighed in content.
“It’s just me and you babygirl…us against this cruel world.” Justin stated.
“You know it baby. J.T & C.J forever…” Cassy exhaled deeply, feeling herself drift off into sleep.
Justin yawned, glancing at her momentarily before closing his eyes in an attempt to fall asleep. He listened to Cassy’s breathing and felt her heartbeat against his chest. This truly was the woman of his dreams and he had all intentions of spending the rest of his life with her.
It’s just the two of us
Getting into love
It takes two of us
To change the world
………….End Flashback………………
Justin wiped away at his tears furiously. He dropped the necklace by the sink and stalked out of the bathroom, pausing long enough to grab a t-shit and slip it on. He opened his bedroom door and proceeded down the stairs to the kitchen in search of his morning cereal. While scanning the kitchen for all his food contents and utensils, he allowed his mind to drift back to the day when he came home and Cassy wasn’t there.
It was the second worse day of his life. When he thought she cheated on him was bad, but this day felt like déjà vu. Only, Cassy didn’t come stumbling into the house dead drunk. That day, he lost the woman he loved, and she took his heart along for the ride. Justin was so torn that day, he couldn’t even form coherent thoughts or sentences.
………………….Flashback……………..
A Week Later
Trace was with him that afternoon. He just got in from the studio. It was a week after the big fighting incident. Since then, they had mini fights about the incident, but nothing too extreme. After all, it was still fresh in both their minds what happened that night. Of course, Justin told Trace about it knowing if he was there they would have teamed up and beat the guy senseless.
Justin called out to Cassy, excited to show her the gift he got for her. It was the new Mercedes SLR. Cassy fell in love with it when she saw it in a Car magazine Justin was reading. Trace made himself comfortable on the couch while flipping on the television. “Hey Jay, got anything to drink man?” Trace asked.
“Help yourself. I’m heading up to the room to get Cassy’s ass down here to show her the surprise.” Justin jogged up the stairs in a hurry eager to see the look on Cassy’s face when she saw what was outside waiting for her.
“Cassy? Baby?” Justin opened the door to the room and noticed no one was there. ‘Hmm where could she be? Maybe she stepped out…’ He pulled out his cell phone and called her on speed dial, only to receive a strange message saying ‘Welcome to sprint…the number you have dialed is no long in service.’
“What the hell?” Justin scratched the back of his neck in irritation and proceeded to dial her number manually. When he received the same message he groaned and tossed his phone aside. ‘We paid the bill, damn…I’m gonna have to call them and….’ He paused when he saw a folded piece of paper scribbled with his name, sitting on the nightstand. “What’s that?” He wondered. He knew it was her hand writing, but since when did she leave him notes? “Hmm…” He ambled across and picked up the note immediately flipping it open to read the contents.
Trace sat in front the television screen engrossed in a basketball game while sipping a beer. It wasn’t until he heard Justin scream “Fuck! Shit! Oh god no”, that he realized he hadn’t seen him.
“What the fuck was that?” Trace sat his beer on the coffee table and ran up the stairs. It sounded like Justin fell and hurt himself or something. When Trace opened the door to Justin’s room the sight of his best friend nearly made him cry.
Justin sat in the middle of the bedroom floor holding a piece of paper, with his face in his hands sobbing uncontrollably. It was so loud, and sharp that Trace thought the world was going to end. But it did; At least for Justin. His world was ending. It came crashing down around him. He just sat there on the floor trembling, gasping for breath, crying…Trace was a little scared at Justin’s breakdown. Yep, he was definitely having an emotional breakdown.
“Justin? Jay you ok man?” That was a stupid question, but what else could he think of to say? “Justin?” He kneeled down next to him as Justin lifted his head to stare at Trace. It broke Trace’s heart when he saw that lost look in Justin’s eyes. It looked like he didn’t know what to do. It looked like a part of him died somewhere inside. Well, he did die. Without Cassy, he was nothing. She killed him.
“She…she…gone…oh god…please….not happening….fuck!” Justin could barely form coherent sentences. His mind was gone….Cassy was gone…She just left without saying why. She just packed her shit and left. What the hell happened? He was so clueless and uncertain. He didn’t know what to make of it. How could she just leave him like that to suffer? Didn’t she know that he couldn’t survive without her?
“What? Jay…you’re not making any sense. Where’s Cassy?” Trace asked.
Justin muttered something that Trace couldn’t understand and handed him a piece of paper.
Trace took the paper and read it over…..
Hey Justy,
Well, this is hard for me to tell you so I’m just going to say it…I’m leaving. I don’t know when or if I’ll be back. I’m sorry Justin. I need to get away from this. From this life….God I love you….so much. Don’t ever forget that. But I just, I can’t stay. I’m sorry. I know it’s bad how I’m doing this and you must think I’m terrible…but I need to leave. For my sake…for your sake. Please understand. I promise I’ll call when I get a chance. Bye Justin.
Love
Cassy
Trace set the note aside and diverted his attention to Justin who was still sobbing just as hard as when he came in. This time, he had slight hiccups. “Shit, jay….I’m…I’m sorry.” He had no idea what to say to Justin at that moment. He was in shock himself. He kept wondering what made her leave so suddenly, knowing that there was no way Justin would ever come out of the state he was in. So, He sat there speechless watching his best friend crash and burn and there was nothing he could do, but try and comfort him with positive words.
I got you
You got me
It’s just me and you
Against the world
……………End Flashback………………..
But she didn’t call. He hadn’t heard from her since she left. Shit, he didn’t even know if she was alive. He couldn’t get a hold of her mother and he was just too drained and tired to deal with this right now. Justin shook his head and sat at the dining table with his bowl of cereal. As he began to eat, his cell phone rang. He looked at the caller ID, while taking a spoon full of apple jacks and shoving it into his mouth. It was Trace. He sighed and let the voicemail pick up. He just sat there, alone, eating in silence. He missed his dogs. Trace took them away. He realized there was no way Justin would be able to care for them in his current state. Whenever someone came to visit, he’d just sit and stare without saying a word to anyone. Damn, they came over way too often.
Sighing when he heard the door bell ring, he knew it was someone coming to see how he was doing. Why couldn’t they just leave him to wallow in his misery? Was that so much to ask? Frankly, he was enjoying the turmoil he was in, or maybe he was in denial. He forcefully pushed himself off the chair in the dining room and walked over to the entrance of the house. He paused momentarily to stare at the door when the person on the other end kept ringing the bell continuously.
Rolling his eyes, he passed his hands through his hair from pure irritation. He just wanted to be left alone. He just wanted to waste away in this big ass house and die. That knife was looking really friendly last night, but he was glad that he was a wuss and chickened out. His mother would have a heart attack if he ever tried or succeeded at committing suicide. That’s what Cassy did to him. That’s the type of power she had over him. Shit, he had no heart. She left with it, so technically, he was emotionally dead.
He walked over to the front door, unbarred it and swung it open expecting to see Trace or some other person that took pity on him.
Imagine the stunned expression that masked his facial features, when he saw the last person he’d ever expect to be standing on his doorstep. His mouth literally hung open in disbelief. He thought he was dreaming. He had to be dreaming. She wasn’t coming back. But he wasn’t dreaming, and she did come back, looking as radiant as ever in her sunflower dress and dark shades. She smiled and dropped her luggage immediately plunging into his embrace.
Justin was overwhelmed to say the least. All these emotions came rushing up to the surface and he couldn’t hold in any longer. He clung to her for dear life, feeling a sudden rush of air fill his lungs. He let out a deep sigh as tears streamed down his face.
“C-Cassy?” He choked out, too smitten to say anything else.
“Oh god Justin. I’m so sorry.” She cried in his arms. “I should have never left; I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. So I left. I went by my momma. I needed her, because I…I needed her advice on what to do. How to handle things. God, I never meant to leave you. I never wanted to….hurt you.” She sobbed.
“But why Cassy? Why did you go?” He asked, desperately needing closure.
“I-I was going through some things and I needed help. I needed to know if this was the life I really wanted with you….” She trailed off when Justin gave her a questionable glare. He didn’t understand.
“God Justin, we’ve been together for over three years. You’re 27, and I’m 24.”
“And your point is?” He held a frown on his face wondering where she was going with this.
“Well, you’re older, we are both young but, I don’t know, I was scared…because…because….”She trailed off.
“What Cassandra…just spit it out. What went wrong?” He wiped under her eyes, while placing a soft kiss on her cheek.
“God it’s nothing like that Justin…it’s just that I’m…I’m pregnant.” She stated. Cassy flinching and waited for the fireworks knowing Justin might be upset. Instead, his shocked expression turned into a rather large grin. It was kind of comical to her. “Justin did you hear me? I didn’t know if this is what you wanted, what we wanted, so I panicked and ran…I’m sorry baby…please forgive me.”
“I-I’m going to be a daddy?” he asked, the grin never leaving his face for a second. Cassy nodded unsure of how he really felt. Well damn, you’d think the grin gave it away but oh well.
“Oh my god…I’m going to be a dad…” Justin whispered for no apparent reason. Suddenly, he picked Cassy up and twirled her around. “I’m gonna be a dad!” He shouted. “Shit this is unreal! Wait till I tell momma and the family. She’s gonna freak…it’s mine right?” He half-joked.
“Yes silly. You so dumb…haha but I love you.” Cassy spoke. Justin placed her down and stared into those hazel brown eyes that he loved so much. “Gimme kiss Justy.” She cooed.
He still held that cheesy grin on his face as he leaned forward placing a soft delicate kiss on her lips. God he missed this. It’s been way too long. There was that light feeling in his stomach again. She was back. His love, his rock, his angel has returned. He could now breathe and live again because his heart was home, pumping blood through his veins to his entire body and it felt damn good to be alive again.
“How far along are you?” He asked never breaking the kiss.
“‘Bout a month….Mmm…Damn Justin you gotta shave that beard boy…” She joked.
“Humph…I will” He pulled away from her rubbing her tummy and smiling. He picked up her luggage and led her into the house, locking the front door behind him. Cassy followed close behind. On their way up the stairs, Justin paused in thought and turned around to Cassy.
“Promise me this time, that no matter what, you won’t leave me. That we’ll talk everything out first and make important decisions together, because I don’t think I’ll survive ‘this’ a second time…but I forgive you…because I love you.” He pointed to his heart for emphasis.
Cassy was on the verge of tears as she wrapped her arms around him, taking in his sent. Damn she missed him so much. She was a wreck too. She couldn’t eat or sleep or function properly without him. “I love you too Justin and I promise. It’s just me and you….J.T & C.J Forever….”
“….Against the world.” Justin whispered as he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
“Hey Justin?”
“Hmm?”
“Whose Mercedes is that in the driveway?” Cassy enquired innocently.
Justin chuckled before responding. Man, it felt good to genuinely laugh again. “It’s yours….I bought it for you the day you left…as a surprise.” He informed her.
“Oh…I’m sorry…” Cassy trailed off in thought.
“It’s ok, you’re back and that’s all that matters….Now common, these suitcases are heavy as hell.” He motioned for her to follow him up the stairs.
I’m lost without u
Can’t help myself
How does it feel?
2 know that I love u baby
Cassy smiled wiping the tears from her eyes as Justin led her up to their room, so they could spend the rest of the day just being together, enjoying each other’s company. They truly were an amazing pair, soon to be an amazing trio. Life just doesn’t get any better than this, because when you have love, nothing else matters.
* THE END *
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Song credits:
Lost without you by Robin Thicke
Against the world by Robin Thicke
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